The Last Confession of Thomas Hawkins - [80]

How could a father want this for his son? Even a killer such as James Fleet – did he not dream of better for his only boy? And I wondered – did he send Sam to me with an order to kill Burden? Or had he simply placed him next door and waited for the inevitable act? Did he think that absolved him of the sin? No – Fleet would care nothing of absolution. He was a murderer many times over. He must have ordered the boy to do it.

I thought of Sam creeping around the Burdens’ home at night, knife in hand. Practising. He’d confessed in that one word, but I’d refused to hear it. He’d tiptoed into Burden’s bedroom, ready to strike… only to find Alice Dunn curled up next to her master. An unexpected complication. He couldn’t kill Burden in front of a witness – she would have woken the whole house. So he’d waited for another night, when Burden was alone – then thrown suspicion on poor Alice.

I thought back to the night of Burden’s murder. Sam had been most anxious to let Alice take the blame. If she had run, as Sam had suggested, everyone would have believed she was the killer, instead of me. Had he pressed for this out of some twinge of loyalty, or guilt for placing me in danger? Or was Alice simply a more suitable scapegoat? Gentlemen don’t hang, as a rule. But a lowly servant, with no friends and no capital…?

I could no longer trust my feelings in the matter. What did I know of Sam, truly? This was the little moon-curser who just a few months ago had led me to his father’s gang to be robbed and beaten. And still I had trusted him. I’d followed that flickering torch without question through his narrow, twisted maze – and it had brought me here.

I didn’t blame Sam. If anything, I blamed myself. All this time he had spent under my roof and I did not have the wit to see he was in trouble. Jenny had warned me there was something wrong with the boy. He had sneaked into her room while she was sleeping, for God’s sake! If I had only paid more attention. If I had listened. Instead I had landed on some fool notion that Sam and I shared some unspoken affinity. I too had suffocated beneath my father’s expectations. The difference was, my father was a country parson. Sam’s father was a murderer.

I should have helped the boy, not colluded with him. Now it was too late and Sam was set upon a path that led only to more death, including his own. How many boys from St Giles had begun this way and ended up swinging from a rope before they even reached their twenties? I could be kind to myself and say that Sam’s fate was sealed the day he was born into that family of thieves and murderers, but I knew better. I was furious with James Fleet and with Gabriela – a white-hot anger pouring like burning metal through my veins. But I saved a portion of that anger for myself. Somehow, surely, I could have prevented this.

Betty touched my wrist, fingers brushing lightly against my skin. I blinked. How long had I been staring out across the coffeehouse, lost in thought? My pipe lay upon the table, burned-out. The man at the next bench had left, and a group of lawyers’ clerks had gathered by the fire, stamping their feet to thaw out their toes.

I took a last swig of punch. It had turned cold. ‘I must return home.’

Betty’s hand tightened about my wrist. ‘Fleet will be watching the Pistol. Mr Hawkins – you must leave London now. I can send a message to Miss Sparks.’ She leaned forward, forcing me to look her in the eye. ‘Go to my lodgings now and hide there. I can bring you clothes, food, coin – everything you need within the hour. There is a coach to the coast that leaves from the George…’

I scarce heard her. Kitty. I rose from the table, struck with a sudden fear. Kitty was at home, oblivious to the danger we were in. What if Fleet had sent his men to the shop? She wouldn’t know to bar the door to them. They could be there even now as I sat witlessly over a bowl of punch.

Betty gazed up at me as I stood, her lips pursed. ‘No one ever listens…’

‘One half-hour, that is all. I must fetch Kitty.’ I smiled. ‘Thank you, Betty.’ And on a whim I leaned down and kissed the disapproval from her lips.

She let me, just for a moment, then pushed me away. ‘Fool,’ she muttered.

The bells of Covent Garden were striking seven as I left Moll’s. Light had begun to build in the sky. The market on the piazza was still busy, the scent of ripe fruit and warm barley mingling with the pungent but not unpleasant smell of livestock. A knife sharpener had placed his cart beneath the sundial in the middle of the square. I winced as I passed, the high shriek of metal scraping along stone almost unbearable on the ear.

So – it was resolved. Farewell to London and the life I’d built here. My flight would convince the whole world of my guilt, but I would live and keep Kitty safe. The career of a gang captain was a short one. I had never seen a man hang at Tyburn older than forty.

Perhaps when James Fleet was dead, we might return and resolve matters. The taverns were full of villains who’d been transported and stolen home again to live in secret.