The Last Confession of Thomas Hawkins - [61]

I lowered my feet slowly to the ground, wrapping a blanket around my hips. The room tilted and I had to breathe hard to steady myself. ‘I’m well enough,’ I said, touching the back of my skull. There was a small bump, but not as bad as I’d feared. ‘Kitty?’

‘Upstairs.’

I rose and hobbled across the room, each step jolting my head.

‘Clothes,Hawkins. This ain’t a brothel.’ He pointed to a bundle on the floor and left. My dagger rested on top of the pile.

Scratchy woollen breeches, an old waistcoat for a much fatter man, a tattered cravat. A wig, too – but it looked so lousy I dared not touch it, never mind place it upon my aching head. I wondered who these clothes had belonged to and how they had come here – then decided it was best not to be too curious in Fleet’s house.

Out upon the landing I heard the murmur of conversation on the floor above. I limped barefoot up to the room at the top of the stairs, drawn by the voices and the scent of warm spiced food that hugged the air.

And there she was, sitting by the fire, her feet tucked up under her skirts. She was still pale, but a thousand times better than the night before. We looked at each other across the room, safe now after the dark horrors of the night. Then she slid to her feet to greet me. I put my hands to her face. Her skin was warm. ‘You’re well?’

She nodded and I kissed her, wrapping my arms about her waist as if she might disappear.

‘Oh Lord, Tom,’ she gasped, breaking away. ‘You will squeeze me to death.’

I loosened my grip. Slowly recalled that Fleet was in the room, and his wife Gabriela, holding a baby in her arms. Daughter number five, I supposed. Eva, Becky and Sofia, grinning and nudging each other. Little Bia, watching us wide-eyed on the table, chewing her fist. And Sam, leaning against a wall in the corner, hands in his pockets. Mute, as ever.

I gave Gabriela a short bow. ‘Thank you, madam.’

She smiled at the courtesy, her eyes tired. ‘Lucky. Both of you.’ Her accent was a complicated mix of Portuguese and St Giles. She crooked a finger into her baby’s fist and jiggled it up and down. ‘No jumping in river no more. Yes?’

‘I swear it – upon my life,’ Kitty said. ‘I feel as if I’ve been run down by a wagon.’

Fleet put his hand on my shoulder. ‘Come with me.’

Phoenix Street was crowded and chaotic, and everyone was selling – food, gin, bodies. A tinker stood in a doorway, clanging an iron pot, his nose caved in from the pox. He stank of piss, the bottom of his coat sodden with it. I looked away, my head pounding in time to his noise.

There was a frost in the air this morning and I was grateful for it – it woke me up, and freshened the streets a little. A man ran past us, dragging a hand cart filled with clothes. For a brief moment I thought I saw the chairman’s coat buried in the heap, stained with blood. But the wheel almost ran over my toe and I was forced to leap back. By the time I’d recovered, the cart had vanished.

Fleet strode through the ragged stream of life, squinting at the winter sun with eyes more accustomed to the dark. A cluster of men nodded as he passed, but most minded their own business. We turned into a sunless alley and Fleet sighed, as if coming home. Turned and twisted again until we reached a ruined courtyard, overlooked by gloomy, tumbledown houses. No carts rolled down here, no hawkers called their trade. Windows were shuttered tight against the day, and all was still. The ropes and walkways of the rookery loomed high above our heads, blocking the light. Here we were both in shade, the world dyed grey.

He tapped his toe against the cobbles, hands in pockets. ‘D’you know this place?’

I looked about me. The press of broken houses, the narrow balconies hung with tattered sheets. This was where I had stopped last night, when I could run no further. This was where I had called Fleet’s name – and he’d answered.

He held out his hand. Two guineas glinted in his palm.

My payment for meeting with Mrs Howard in St James’s Park. He had known all along that her husband would attack the carriage. He had sent me there without warning and I had almost died as a consequence. No doubt he thought last night had squared the matter. But if he had not lied to me when we shook hands upon the deal, then I would never have met Charles Howard in the first place. Kitty would never have been hurt and threatened and half drowned.

He pressed the coins into my hand with a smile. ‘Take them, sir. Don’t forget, your life is worth only half that.’

‘You betrayed me.’

‘Mr Hawkins,’ he said heavily. Wearily. ‘You knew the dangers. You betrayed yourself, sir.’

‘What – I should have guessed you worked for the queen?’

‘I work for myself.’ He snuffed back a laugh. ‘Gentlemen. All that schooling… I forget what fools you are. You ain’t equipped to live in the world. You strut about, so sure you’re the cleverest souls in England. D’you think your wits are sharper than mine, sir?’

‘I-’

‘Of course you do. Even now. Tell me – what was it you studied at Oxford?’

I scowled at him. He knew the answer full well.