Еnglish as a Second F*cking Languаge - [17]

UNSTABLE THE STALLION

UPGRADE YOUR HARDWARE

VARNISH YOUR POLE

WALK THE DOG

WALK THE PLANK (пираты Стивенсона ходили по доске как-то по другому)

WALTZ WITH WILLY

WANKER THE ANCHOR

WANKING THE WILLIE

WASTING BABIES

WAX THE DOLPHIN

WAX YOUR WILLY

WAXING THE CARROT

WAXING THE WEEZER

WHIP THE BOLOGNA PONY

WHIP THE DRIPPER

WHIPPIN’ UP ON SKIPPY (NOT THE BUSH, BUT KANGAROO!!!)

WHITE-WATER WRISTING

WINDSURF ON MOUNT BALDY

WORK A CRAMP OUT OF YOUR MUSCLE

WRESTLE THE EEL

WRESTLE WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

WRIST AEROBICS

YANK THE PLANK

THE GIRL IS MASTURBATING

A NIGHT WITH THE GIRLS

AIR THE ORCHID

BASTE THE TUNA

BEAT THE BEAVER

BEAT THE BUSH

BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

BRUSH THE BEAVER

BUFF THE BEAVER

BURY THE KNUCKLE

BUTTER THE BEAD

BUTTER THE MUFFIN

BUTTER THE POTATO

BUZZ

CARESS THE KITTY

CHECK THE FOXHOLE

CHECK YOUR OIL

CIRCLE THE KNOLL

CLAP WITH ONE HAND

CLEAN YOUR FINGERS

CLEANING THE CARPET

CREAM THE PIE

CUNT CUDDLING

DIG FOR YOUR KEYS

DIGITAL MANIPULATION

DIGITIZE

DO YOUR NAILS

DOUSE THE DIGITS

DROWN THE MAN IN THE BOAT

DUNK THE BEAVER

DUST THE END TABLE

ERASE THE PROBLEM

EXPLORE THE DEEP SOUTH

FAN THE FUR

FAN THE FURNACE

FEED THE BEARDED CLAM

FEED THE FISH

FINGER BLAST

FINGER DANCE

FINGER FUN

FINGER PAINT

FLICK THE BEAN

FLICK THE SWITCH

FLIP THE FLAPS

FLIP THROUGH THE PAGES

FLIT YOUR CLIT

FLOSS THE CAT

FLY AUTOMATIC (используя вибратор)

FLY MANUALLY

GET A DATE WITH SLICK MITTENS

GET A FAT LIP

GET A LUBE JOB

GET A STAIN OUT OF YOUR CARPET

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF

GLEAMING THE TUBE

GO MINING

GOING TO WORK WITHOUT A STAFF

GRAB THE GOATEE

GREASE THE SKILLET

GREASE YOUR HIPS

GROPE THE GROTTO

ITCH THE DITCH

JUICE IT UP

JUMP START THE RIVER

LEGLOCK THE PILLOW

LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING

LUBE YOUR GOOB

MAKE BUMPS

MAKE BUTTER

MAKE SOUP

MAKE THE KITTY PURR

MAKE WAVES

MAN OVERBOARD

MANUAL OVERRIDE

MISTRESSBATE

NULL THE VOID

ONE-WOMAN SHOW

PADDLE THE PINK CANOE

PART THE PETALS

PERFORM FOR MR. SWAGGART (телеевангелист, который платил девицам лёгкого поведения за то, что они проделывали это перед ним)

PET SNOOPY

PET THE BUNNY

PET THE PUSSY

PITCH IN THE BUSH LEAGUE

PLAY FIDDLE

PLAY PIANO

PLAY THE CLITAR (аллюзия с ситаром или гитарой)

POKE THE PUCKER

POKE THE PUSSY

POLISH THE PEARL

POLISH THE WEDDING RING

PREHEAT THE OVEN

PUSH THE BUTTON

PUSH THE PETAL

READ BRAILLE

RIDE SLIDESADDLE

RIDE THE CURL

RIDE THE TUBESPOUT

RIDE THE UNICYCLE

RIDE THE WILD HAND

RING FOR THE MAID

RING SOUTHERN BELLS (заметьте, ещё одно обозначение PUSSY - DOWN SOUTH)

ROLL THE MINK

ROW THE LITTLE MAN IN THE BOAT

RUB THE NUBBIN

RUBBING THE NUBBIN

RUFF THE MUFF

SCRATCH THE PATCH

SCUFF THE MUFF

SEARCH FOR SPOCK

SHELL THE BEAN

SHOOT HOOPS

SHOOT THE RAPIDS

SHUCK THE OYSTER

SILK ABUSE

SKIM THE CREAM

SLICK ABUSE

SOAK IN PALMOLIVE (это действительно яркий и конкретный пример народного product placement)

SORT THE OYSTERS SPELUNK (технически, SPELUNKING - это хобби, близкое к спелеологии - изучению и исследованию пещер)

SPELUNKING WITHOUT A PARTNER

STIFFEN YOUR UPPER LIP

STINKY PINKY

STIR IT UP

STIR THE CAULDRON

STIR THE YOGURT

STROKE THE FURNACE

STROKING THE PELT

STRUM

STUFF THE TACO

SURF AT FINGER BEACH

SURF THE CHANNEL

SURF THE WET

TAKE A DIP

TAKE A FINGER RIDE

TAKE A TRIP SOUTH

TAKING HER OWN TEMPERATURE

TEST THE PLUMBING

THE VIRGIN’S RELEASE

THUMB THE BUTTON

TICKLE THE MUSTACHE

TICKLE THE TACO

TICKLE YOUR FANCY

TIPTOE THROUGH THE TWO LIPS

TOGGLE THE BIT

TOUCH TYPE

TWEAK THE TWIG

TWIT THE CLIT

VISIT FATHER FINGERS

WAKE THE BUTTERFLY

WASH YOUR FINGERS

WATER THE HOT SPOT

WORK IN THE GARDEN (антураж FUCKERWARE PARTY. Витрина в магазине, где продаются игрушки для женщин).

DICK

BONING TOOL

BUSH BLASTER

CAPTAIN’S LOG

ELEVEN INCHES OF DANGLING DEATH

JOHNSON

JOYSTICK

LOVE SAUSAGE

MR. HAPPY

ONE-EYED MONSTER

PETER AND HIS FUZZY PALS

POCKET POLE

SCHLONG

SEED SPITTER TALLYWACKER

THE BOSS

THE BRAIN

THE LITTLE GUY WITH THE HELMET

THE MAIN VEIN

TROUSER TROUT

WONDER WAND

PUSSY

BEARDED CLAM

CAMEL TOE

FUR BURGER

FURRY FOLDS

GATE TO HEAVEN

HOLIEST OF HOLIES

HOTHOUSE

JADE GATE

JUNGLE KOOCHIE

LITTLE MAN IN A BOAT (clitoris)

LOVE MUSSEL

LOVE NEST

PETER POCKET

PINK SNAPPER

QUIM

THE HOODED NUB

TUNNEL OF LOVE

WILLIE’S FAVORITE PARKING SPACE

BLOWJOB

BLOWIN’ THE LOVE TRUMPET

ENJOYING A TUBE STEAK

GIVING MR. WINKY AN ORAL REPORT

GIVING THE SOLDIER A GOOD TONGUE LASHING

MARINATING THE MONKEY

PLAYING A TUNE ON THE FLESHY FLUTE

PROPERLY SALUTING THE FLAGPOLE

PUFF THE DRAGON

SPIT SHINING THE WEAPON

TALKING WITH THE BALD MAN

WETTING DOWN THE WORM

WHISPERING TO WILLIE

MUFF-DIVING

CANOE LICKING

CARPET MUNCHING

GIVING HER A MOUSTACHE RIDE

HAVING A BITE AT BEAVER CREEK

HAVING A BOXED LUNCH AT THE Y

JUICING THE G-SPOT

LICKING THE CAT

LICKING THE DEW OFF HER LILY

SLURPING THE SIDEWAYS SMILE

TUNA SNUFFLING

WEARING THIGHS ON YOUR EARS

WHISTLING THROUGH THE WHEATFIELD

BIRTH CONTROL

He только бриллианты и DIAMOND CUTTERS, но и контрацептивы называются LADY’S FRIENDS.

VATICAN ROULETTE (смешливое обозначение циклического или календарного метода).

Использование диафрагмы образовывает CATCHER’S MITT (пусть простят нас фанаты бейсбола, которых пока немного в этой стране).

THE CONDOM лидирует впереди всех своих кузенов и потому:

FUCK без него - to have sex A CAPPELLA, have sex MEAT-TO-MEAT, или RIDE BAREBACK, он продается из A BUBBLE GUM MACHINE, в нужный момент CLOAK THE CAPTAIN, который героически FIGHT IN ARMOR.