Дом о семи шпилях - [26]

Люди, находящиеся в затруднительных и горестных обстоятельствах или в раздоре со светом, способны выносить самое жестокое обращение и, может быть, даже черпать в нем новые силы, но они тотчас раскисают, встречая самое простое выражение искреннего участия.

So it proved with poor Hepzibah; for, when she saw the young man's smile-looking so much the brighter on a thoughtful face-and heard his kindly tone, she broke first into a hysterical giggle, and then began to sob.	Так было и с бедной Гепзибой. Когда она увидела улыбку молодого человека и услышала его ласковый голос, она сперва засмеялась истерическим хохотом, а потом начала плакать.
"Ah, Mr. Hol grave," cried she, as soon as she could speak,	- Ах, мистер Холгрейв! - пробормотала женщина.
"I never can go through with it!	- У меня ничего не получится!
Never, never, never!	Ничего, ничего!
I wish I were dead, and in the old family tomb, with all my forefathers! With my father, and my mother, and my sister!	Я бы желала лучше лежать в старом фамильном склепе вместе с моими предками, с моим отцом и матерью, с моими сестрами!
Yes, and with my brother, who had far better find me there than here!	Да, и с моим братом, которому было бы приятнее видеть меня там, нежели здесь!
The world is too chill and hard-and I am too old, and too feeble, and too hopeless!"	Свет слишком холоден и жесток, а я слишком стара, слишком бессильна, слишком беспомощна!
"O, believe me, Miss Hepzibah," said the young man, quietly, "these feelings will not trouble you any longer, after you are once fairly in the midst of your enterprise.	- Поверьте мне, мисс Г епзиба, - сказал молодой человек спокойно, - что эти чувства перестанут смущать вас, как только вы добьетесь первого успеха в вашем предприятии.
They are unavoidable at this moment, standing, as you do, on the outer verge of your long seclusion, and peopling the world with ugly shapes, which you will soon find to be as unreal as the giants and ogres of a child's story book.	Сейчас же они неизбежны: вы вышли на свет после долгого затворничества и населяете мир разными призраками и страхами, но погодите - вы скоро увидите, что они так же неестественны, как великаны и людоеды в детских сказках.
I find nothing so singular in life, as that everything appears to lose its substance, the instant one actually grapples with it.	Для меня поразительнее всего в жизни то, что все в нем теряет свое кажущееся свойство при первом же прикосновении.
So it will be with what you think so terrible."	Так будет и с вашими страшилищами.
"But I am a woman!" said Hepzibah, piteously.	- Но я женщина! - жалобно произнесла мисс Гепзиба.
"I was going to say, a lady-but I consider that as past."	- Я хотела сказать: леди, но это уже не вернуть...
"Well: no matter if it be past!" answered the artist, a strange gleam of half-hidden sarcasm flashing through the kindness of his manner.	- Так и не будем толковать об этом! - ответил художник.
"Let it go!	- Забудьте прошлое.
You are the better without it.	Вам же так будет лучше.
I speak frankly, my dear Miss Pyncheon: for are we not friends? I look upon this as one of the fortunate days of your life.	Я скажу вам откровенно, милая моя мисс Пинчон, - мы ведь друзья? - что я считаю этот день одним из счастливейших в вашей жизни.
It ends an epoch and begins one.	Сегодня кончилась одна эпоха и начинается другая.

Hitherto, the life-blood has been gradually chilling in your veins, as you sat aloof, within your circle of gentility, while the rest of the world was fighting out its battle with one kind of necessity or another.	До сих пор кровь постепенно застывала в ваших жилах от сидения в одиночестве, между тем как мир сражался с той или иной необходимостью.
Henceforth you will at least have the sense of healthy and natural effort for a purpose, and of lending your strength-be it great or small-to the united struggle of mankind.	Теперь же вы предприняли осмысленное усилие для достижения полезной цели, вы сознательно подготовили себя к деятельности.
This is success-all the success that anybody meets with!" "It is natural enough, Mr. Holgrave, that you should have ideas like these," rejoined Hepzibah, drawing up her gaunt figure, with slightly offended dignity. "You are a man, a young man, and brought up, I suppose, as almost everybody is nowadays, with a view to seeking your fortune. But I was born a lady, and have always lived one; no matter in what narrowness of means, always a lady!" "But I was not born a gentleman; neither have I lived like one," said Holgrave, slightly smiling; "so, my dear madam, you will hardly expect me to sympathise with sensibilities of this kind; though, unless I deceive myself, I have some imperfect comprehension of them. These names of gentleman and lady had a meaning, in the past history of the world, and conferred privileges, desirable or otherwise, on those entitled to bear them. In the present-and still more in the future condition of society-they imply, not privilege, but restriction!" "These are new notions," said the old gentlewoman, shaking her head. "I shall never understand them; neither do I wish it." "We will cease to speak of them, then," replied the artist, with a friendlier smile than his last one, "and I will leave you to feel whether it is not better to be a true woman than a lady. Do you really think, Miss Hepzibah, that any lady of your family has ever done a more heroic thing since this house was built, than you are performing in it today? Never; and if the Pyncheons had always acted so nobly, I doubt whether an old wizard Maule's anathema, of which you told me once, would have had much weight with Providence against them." "Ah!-no, no!" said Hepzibah, not displeased at this allusion to the sombre dignity of an inherited curse. "If old Maule's ghost or a descendant of his, could see me behind the counter today he would call it the fulfilment of his worst wishes. But I thank you for your kindness, Mr. Holgrave, and will do my utmost to be a good shopkeeper."