Wedding Bell Blues - [6]

When they reached her car, Charles said, “We didn’t want to say anything at the reading of the will

— didn’t want to make a scene. We know how upset you were— how upset we all were.” His tone wasgentle, calm. “But we just wanted to let you know today, Mike here’s been talking to some attorneys whoare in the Lord’s Lieutenants with him—”

“Attorneys?” Lily’s stomach tied itself into a Gordian knot.

“Yes,” Mike said. “You see, we just don’t feel that a young lady on her own ... a young lady suchas yourself, with no blood ties to Mimi whatsoever ... what kind of parent could you possibly be?”

“I’ve been a damned good one for the past thirteen months.” She ran her hand through her hair,which loosened her bun and made her dreadlocks fall loose on her shoulders. “Look, I don’t have tojustify myself to you. You read Charlotte’s will the same as I did. If you loved Charlotte at all, you’drespect her wishes.”

Charles’s tone was irritatingly even. “We loved Charlotte very much. It’s just that we don’t feelshe was capable of understanding what is best for her child. She was blinded by her ... her ...”

“Her sickness,” Mike finished helpfully.

Lily set Mimi in her car seat and spun around to face her enemies. “Her sickness, huh? Let me tellyou, this, this, is the sick shit right here! Charlotte knew more about loving and raising a child than youfucking bigots ever did!”

“See, this is just the kind of thing we’re talking about,” Mike said calmly. “You should never usesuch foul language in front of a child.” He pressed a card into Lily’s fist. “If you decide you’d like to talksensibly about this, you can speak to our attorney.”

As Charlotte and Mike walked away, Lily looked at the card in her hand: STEPHEN J.

HAMILTON, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Hamilton was one of the most powerful right-wingers in the state.

And all Lily had on her side were the wishes of her dead lesbian lover.

She got in the car and pounded her head against the steering wheel. That was productive, shethought. Now what the hell am I going to do?

CHAPTER 3

Lily sat on the couch with her head on Ben’s shoulder, a glass of wine in one hand and a Kleenexin the other. When she’d put Mimi to bed an hour ago, she had stood by her crib watching her sleep. Mimiwas perfect in sleep — her fringe of eyelashes resting on her round cheeks, her little rosebud lips slightlyparted. Lily had trembled with the fear of losing her.

Charlotte’s absence left an aching void in Lily’s life, but even the second Lily heard about theaccident, she knew she would go on. She would have to, for Mimi. Without Mimi, though, Lily couldn’teven imagine a reason for waking up in the morning, for keeping up a pretense of living.

Lily could tell that Ben wasn’t used to women crying on his shoulder. He patted her in thedistracted way a person who isn’t particularly fond of dogs might pat an affection-starved beagle.

“Fucking breeders,” he muttered.

“Hey,” Lily sniffed, “you promised Charlotte and me you wouldn’t use that word anymore afterwe decided to have the baby.”

“It’s different with queers,” Ben said. “You and Charlotte made an informed decision to becomeparents. Breeders litter the earth with their progeny without even giving it a thought. But even that’s notenough for them; they have to take our kids, too.”

Dez and Charlotte used to make fun of Ben’s dismal views of the plight of gays. Dez always saidBen sounded like one of the tragic homos in those 50s pulp novels with titles like Children of Twilight.

Today, though, Lily wondered if Ben’s bleak view might be valid. She sniveled some more on his TommyHilfiger T-shirted shoulder, even though the way he was patting her was starting to get on her nerves.

“Okay, enough of this,” Ben said abruptly. “My shoulder is falling asleep.”

Lily sat up. “Sorry, man. Didn’t mean to test the bounds of your sensitivity.”

“I’m just trying to be practical. Crying gets us nowhere. We’ve got to decide what we’re going todo.”

“Do? There’s nothing to do. I mean, I’ll hire a gay positive lawyer, and we’ll go to court andeverything. But we’re doomed. Don’t you know how every single custody case involving a lesbian momhas turned out? Judges would rather see kids raised by a child-molesting serial killer than a dyke. And I’mnot even Mimi’s biological mother!”

Ben rose from the couch and started pacing. “Well, it certainly is a complex problem.” He pacedback and forth across the living room floor. “Hmm. Let me ask you this. You’re not bound to Atlanta forany reason, are you? I mean ... you could do your work somewhere else, right?”

Lily was the author and illustrator of several books for children. As long as she had her drawingboard, she, could work anywhere. Of course, the past couple of weeks, she hadn’t felt much like working.

“Sure... I guess I could go somewhere else.” She tried to picture herself and Mimi and Ben on a cross-country trek, hiding from the Maycombs. “But Ben, I don’t think we can run away from this, and if you’llforgive me for saying so, you don’t exactly strike me as the Thelma and Louise type.”