Wedding Bell Blues - [7]

“You’re right on that count. All I could think about the whole time I was watching that movie washow long it had been since those girls had taken a shower.” He paced some more in silence, then asked,

“What kind of relationship do you have with your family?”

“Not much of one. Mom and Dad are divorced. Dad and I exchange Christmas and birthday cards,and that’s about it. Mom and I have lunch every couple of months or so. She tells me that I’m a grownwoman and should get a decent hairstyle and take that ridiculous thing out of my nose.”

“And if you mention your private life?”

“She sticks her fingers in her ears and sings ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb.’ When she has no choicebut to acknowledge Mimi, she refers to her as ‘your friend’s daughter.’ ”

“Well, obviously we’re not gonna get much help on that front.”

Lily poured another glass of wine. “Ben, nobody’s gonna help us except other queers, andnobody’s gonna listen to them anyway ’cause ... well, they’re a bunch of queers.” She slammed herwineglass so hard on the coffee table that the base broke, nicking her index finger. “Goddamn it!” Shestuck her finger in her mouth and sucked.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I am most certainly not okay. My daughter is going to be raised by Republicans.”

Ben sat down next to her. “Lily, I need to ask you a question.”

“So ask.” The cut on her finger was almost a relief — a small dose of physical pain to distract herfrom the pain that mattered.

“Okay, I’m very serious here. Would you do anything to keep Mimi?”

She didn’t have to pause to think. “Yes. She’s all I have left. If anything had a chance of working,I’d try it.

“Even if it meant putting yourself in a hellish situation?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, buddy, I’m in a hellish situation right now. Stop being so damnedmysterious. What are you thinking?”

Ben sighed. “Okay. My family — they drive me nuts, but they have the two things that might getus out of this situation.”

“An AK-47 and what else?”

“Better than that. They have the two things in this country that can get you out of just about anysituation: money and power.”

Lily had always known that Ben was on the payroll for some family business he rarely did anywork for. The way Dez had told it, Ben’s parents kept him paid off so he wouldn’t come back to his smallnorth Georgia hometown and flaunt his homosexuality. “But from what I’ve heard from you and Dez,your family hasn’t exactly joined up with P-FLAG. Would they be willing to use their money and powerto help us?”

“Under the right circumstances.”

Lily smelled compromise — an odor she hated. But she had said she would do anything to keepMimi, and she meant it. She took a deep breath. “And what circumstances would those be?”

“Okay,” Ben began. “Suppose — just suppose for a second — that I’m actually Mimi’s biologicalfather.”

“But we both know Dez is.”

“For a writer, you’re not being very imaginative. Let’s say that unbeknownst to you and Dez,Charlotte and I were having an affair.”

For the first time in two full weeks, Lily laughed out loud.

“I know. It’s ridiculous. But remember: We’re cooking up a story for the breeders. They want us tobe straight so badly, they’ll believe any bullshit story we come up with.”

Lily cleared her throat to stifle a giggle. “So you and Charlotte were having an affair.” She tried toimagine Charlotte and Ben locked in a passionate clench. “She was the top, obviously.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I was the top. I’m the man, aren’t I?” His voice squeaked as he defended hismasculinity.

“If you say so, dear.”

“So anyway, Charlotte and I had been having this affair, and she tearfully confessed to me whenshe got pregnant with Mimi, that she was sure that I, not Dez, was the father ...”

“Where did you come up with this story, Soap Opera Digest?”

“We both know it’s absurd, and Charlotte and Dez are probably giggling in their graves at the idea.

But don’t you think they’d want us to do whatever it took to keep their baby away from those CobbCounty cretins?”

“Of course they would. I just don’t see where this flight of fancy is taking us.”

“Wake up and smell the patriarchy, Lily! If I can convince a jury that I’m Mimi’s biological father,then I’ll have a legitimate claim on her.”

“But they can do tests for that kind of thing now, if the judge orders it. DNA ...”

“Which brings me to my family. My brothers were what you might call mischievous when theywere growing up. Mother and Daddy bought them out of so much trouble with the law that they own thejudge of the juvenile court in Faulkner County — he’s practically a house pet. There’s no way JudgeSanders is gonna make a member of the McGilly family take a DNA test. He knows a McGilly’s word isas good as his next payoff.”

“So how are we gonna manage to get this case tried in your hometown?”

“That’s where we come to the part of the plan that’ll make the whole thing work.” Ben cleared histhroat and arched an eyebrow. “Lily, will you marry me?”

She had seen the question coming, but she still couldn’t stifle her laughter. “I swore when I was in