Stone Cold Red Hot - [56]

“Yeah,” he looked embarrassed, “you didn’t do so bad yourself, wet curtains and all.”

I smiled. “Improvise. I want to see the Ibrahims before I go.”

“They were down at the end before.”

I got to my feet. “I’ll see you, then. Take care.”

“Yeah. See you.”

I went looking but the end bays were deserted. I asked the triage nurse.

“You’ve just missed them, I think.”

“Have they been admitted?”

“No, no. They’re OK. They’ve sorted out some emergency accommodation for them. You might just catch them, they’ve only just gone.”

I pushed through the swing doors and down the ramp of the ambulance bay where a clutch of smokers hovered.

I saw the family a few yards down the path walking away, a policeman and a woman with them.

I caught them up.

“Mr Ibrahim?” He turned quickly, the toddler in his arms, a frown on his face. The others stopped.

“I’m sorry, about your little boy, please tell your wife. I’m so sorry.”

I glanced at her, she looked at me blankly, then shifted the baby closer to her shoulder.

“You were one of the people who went into the house?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

I didn’t want his thanks. “I’ve been working for the council,” I explained, “filming for evidence.”

He studied me for a moment. “Now they have their evidence.”

I swallowed. I didn’t say anything.

“They should never have left us there, you tell your council people that.”

I nodded.

He turned and they walked on.

Back in the Casualty department I rang for a black cab and was thankful, when it arrived, to get a taciturn driver. He never even commented on how I smelt.

I needed a bath. I knew it wasn’t a sociable thing to do at that hour in the morning but I was desperate to wash away the soot and the acrid stench of smoke and it would be easier to keep my bandages dry in a bath rather than a shower. First I made a cup of tea and took it up. I had a sudden rush of anxiety about Maddie and Tom and went in to look at them. They were both sleeping peacefully and I left before I could become too maudlin. I put a towel in the bath to try and muffle the noise but it didn’t help much and did nothing to quieten the gurgling of the pipes.

I heard Ray calling my name. I stopped the taps and opened the bathroom door.

He began to complain, blinking in the light, running his hand through his unruly hair. Then he got a look at me.

“Oh, God. What’s happened?”

I opened my mouth then snapped it shut, pressed my fingers to my lips. That set off the shakes, everything began to tremble. I shook my head at him then my control caved in and I began to bawl like a baby.

He led me downstairs and into the kitchen. Made me tea without asking, handed me the kitchen roll. He quizzed me about my injuries, wanted to know what the hospital had done, whether I’d be OK, how I was feeling and of course how I’d got hurt.

In little bursts and puffs I told him about the tragedies of the night. When I reached the part about the firemen not being able to save the little Ibrahim boy and Carl Benson, I began to cry noisily again and with all the artlessness of fresh grief. “It’s awful, it’s so awful, why should they be dead?” I ranted. “It’s not fair. That little boy…And it’s not just that either, there’s you and Laura as well. I don’t know how we’ll manage if you move out. I’ll miss Tom so much and if you take Digger too Maddie will be heartbroken.”

“Hang on, hang on. Who said I was moving out?”

I blew my nose but it was impossible to breathe through it anymore. “No-one, but it’s obviously a very serious relationship and it’s going to affect us all. If you get married or…”

Children even. There was another whole area to fret about. If Laura wanted children, oh God.

“…well, even if you just live together.”

“Sal!”

I jumped. “Yes?”

“Is this what you wanted to talk about on Tuesday?”

“Sort of, yes.”

“Laura and I haven’t even talked about any of this sort of stuff. We’ve only been going out a few months.”

“But it’s so intense.” I protested.

“Don’t you think I’d have talked to you if I was considering anything like that? Taking Tom and leaving? You’re talking about massive changes.”

“I know.”

I must have looked pathetic because Ray didn’t pursue this ‘what sort of a bastard do you think I am’ line. He just did some sort of Italian shimmy with his hands and muttered some curse I couldn’t translate.

“Watch my lips. Laura and I have no plans to live together, get married, elope or do a runner. Who knows where the relationship will go. But if we even begin to think about anything like that you will know, I promise.”

I swallowed.

“Now you better go get that bath. I’m off to bed. I can take and collect the kids tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” I left the room before I could lose it again.

The water turned dirty grey as I washed, an oily film floated on the surface. It was laborious getting in and out without wetting my dressing, lying with my bad leg up on the side of the bath. The pain returned in my leg and I took two more tablets before I went to bed.

I slept badly. There were bones in my pillow and ashes in my mouth and a small boy in Batman pyjamas flew wheeling and swooping through my dreams…