Mastering the Core Teachings of Buddha. An Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book - [19]

Perhaps thoughts are the “I.” They may seem more like the “true I”

than the body does. But they come and go to, don't they? Can we really control these thoughts? Are they something solid enough to assume that they are an “I”? Look closely and you will see that they are not. But again, no-self is more profound than this.

There also seems to be something that is frequently called “the watcher,” that which seems to be observing all this, and perhaps this is really the “I” in question. Strangely, the watcher cannot be found, can 29

The Three Characteristics

it? It seems to sometimes be our eyes, but sometimes not, sometimes it seems to be images in our head and sometimes something that is separate from them and yet watching the images in our head.

Sometimes it seems to be our body, but sometimes it seems to be watching our body. Isn’t it strange how we are so used to this constant redefinition of ourselves that we never stop to question it? Question it!

This odd sense of an unfindable watcher to which all of this is happening yet which is seemingly separate from all that is happening, which sometimes seems in control of “us” and yet which sometimes seems at the mercy of reality: what is it really? What is going on here?

One of my teachers once wisely said, “If you are observing it, then it isn't you by definition!” Notice that the whole of reality seems to be observed. The hints don't get any better than this. Here are three more points of theory that are very useful for insight practices and one’s attempts to understand what is meant by no-self:

1. There are absolutely no sensations that can observe other sensations! (Notice that reality is made entirely of sensations.) 2. There are no special sensations that are uniquely in control of other sensations.

3. There are no sensations that are fundamentally split off from other sensations occurring at that moment.

To begin to unravel this mystery is to begin to awaken. Simply put, reality with a sense of a separate watcher is delusion, and unconditioned reality, reality just as it is, is awakening.

Quick point here: people can use the truth of no-self to rationalize all sorts of strange behaviors because they misunderstand it as nihilism.

“It's all illusion anyway,” they might say. It absolutely isn't. All of this can only be understood at the level that makes the difference by simple, clear, precise practice, so just keep at it.

One more related thing here that is very important: ego is a process of identification, not a thing in and of itself. It is like a bad habit, but it doesn't exist as something that can be found. This is important, as this bad habit can quickly co-opt the language of egolessness and come up with phrases as absurd as: “I will destroy my ego!” But, not being a thing, it cannot be destroyed, but by understanding our bare experience, our minds, the process of identification can stop. Any thoughts with “I,”

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“me,” “my” and “mine” in them should be understood to be just thoughts which come and go. This is not something you can talk yourself out of. You have to perceive things as they are to stop this process.

A commonly heard one is, “I am always identifying with things, I am always attached to things,” with the implication that there is actually someone who is “bad” for “doing” this. Try to avoid this sort of story making, this sort of unmindful mental spinning, but be kind to yourself if it happens. The sensations that make up these thoughts are just empty in the best of ways.

So who is it that awakens? It is all of this transience which awakens, though for a more mystical, thorough and seemingly ridiculous answer take a look at No-self vs. True Self in Part III.

We don't have to sort this all out at once. We can begin with simple steps and the rest will fall into place if we are diligent and skillful.

So, now that I have made the possible seem mystical and abstruse, hopefully I will make it seem very attainable. The big, practical trick to understanding egolessness is to tune into the fact that sensations arise on their own in a natural causal fashion, even the intentions to do things.

This is a formal practice instruction.

This may sound hard until you think about it and then perhaps it may become so obvious it may seem trite. But it isn't, and

understanding it again and again, moment to moment, can bang the truth into us, and if we fully get it we will be free. So, start and perhaps remain with obvious things like physical sensations. They just show up and check out over there, don't they? Tune into this. Allow this quality of things arising and passing on their own to show itself. Notice that whatever is observed isn't “us.” Do this again and again and again at a rate of one to ten times per second as before. That is all there is to it.

See, that wasn't so hard!

Thoughts, the breath, and all of our experience don't quite seem to be in our control, do they? That's it! Know this moment to moment.

Don't struggle too much with reality, except to break the bad habits of being lost in stories, poor concentration, and a lack of understanding of the Three Characteristics. Allow vibrations to show themselves and tune into the sense that you don't have to struggle for them to arise. Reality 31