Wedding Bell Blues - [11]

Just like in her dreams, today Lily had been performing one bizarre action after another, and as in thedream world, no matter how bizarre her actions were, she had no choice but to perform them.

Ben drove them into the rolling hill country outside of Versailles, where the only businesses werethe beautiful working farms and the ugly corrugated aluminum buildings that housed textile companies.

Ben slowed down when they passed one of these buildings. “Well,” he said, “there’s the source of thefortune you just married into.”

The slate-blue aluminum building hardly looked like the source of a family fortune. On thebuilding’s side was a block-lettered sign reading THE CONFEDERATE SOCK MILL. Next to thelettering was a line drawing of a cartoon Confederate soldier, who resembled a Civil War-era BeetleBailey, leaning against a cannon, asleep in his sock feet. “Well...” Lily searched desperately for somethingto say.

“I know it doesn’t look like much,” Ben said. “But we do an incredible international business. Yousee, back when he was playing sports in high school, Daddy got frustrated because he couldn’t find anysocks that didn’t start sagging after several washings. So after he graduated from technical school, hedeveloped a special kind of elastic and patented it. Confederate Socks never lose their elasticity, andwe’ve made millions off ’em. Daddy always gives free socks to the Faulkner County High football andbasketball teams, since that was where his idea began.”

“It’s quite an American success story,” Lily said. “Growing up with a self-made man like that for adad, no wonder you vote Republican.”

“Hey, it’s in my best interest to make sure business is protected.”

“Well, it may be in your best interest financially, but I still think that gay Republicans are likegazelles who try to make friends with lions.” She and Ben had had this argument umpty-dozen times.

“But I guess there’s no need for us to argue politics on our wedding day, is there, honey?”

“I guess not... pumpkin.”

Lily laughed. “So, how are your parents gonna take this— you showing up with new wife andbaby in tow?”

“Oh, they’ll be thrilled, once they get over the initial shock. I mean, you’re certainly not who theywould’ve picked out for me if they had had the choice, but as far as their gay-boy son goes, any woman isbetter than no woman.”

Lily looked up from gnawing her nails. “You sure know how to flatter a girl.”

Right past a run-down store advertising live bait and sandwiches, Ben pulled into a long driveway.

The driveway ended at a huge monstrosity of a house — a red brick mansion with antebellum columnsand a cupola on the roof. “When Daddy had this house built, Mom couldn’t decide if she wanted Tara orMonticello,” Ben said, “so they kinda built both.”

Lily wondered what she would do if she had the money to build a house like this. The only thingshe knew for sure was that if she did, she definitely would not use the money to build a house like this.

“So,” Ben said, “you ready to meet the folks?”

“Sure thing, Benny Jack.”

“Never call me that. Half the reason I moved away from this damn place was so nobody wouldcall me that.”

Lily, with Mimi in her arms, followed Ben up the front porch steps. Ben opened the front door andhollered, “Mom!” There was no answer, so they went inside.

The living room was decorated in slate blue and mauve, with lots of geese, sheep, and other ersatz

“country” doodads. A TV with a theater-sized screen dominated the room. “Mom!” Ben yelled again, thensaid, “She must be out back.”

Lily followed Ben through the enormous kitchen, through the formal dining room with the fullystocked china cabinet and floral centerpiece on the table, through the sunroom with its white wickerfurniture. They went out the back door and down a stone path that led to a high wooden fence. Benopened the gate.

Mrs. McGilly was lying on a floating air mattress in the Olympic-size swimming pool, reading aglossy-covered romance novel and eating grapes. She was an attractive woman, with curly light brownhair that was highlighted with the occasional streak of silver. For the mother of three grown children, herbody was positively streamlined in her purple swimsuit.

Ben stood silently, waiting for her to notice him. Finally, she looked up and exclaimed, “BennyJack! You ’bout scared me to death. You didn’t tell me you was coming!”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Mrs. McGilly pulled down her sunglasses and regarded Lily and Mimi. “Well, hon, ain’t yougonna introduce me?”

“Uh...sure, Mom. This is Lily, my wife, and Mimi, my daughter.”

Mrs. McGilly sat bolt upright, upsetting the air mattress, and fell into the pool with a splash—sunglasses, grapes, romance novel, and all.

CHAPTER 5

“I didn’t mean to act so shocked,” Mrs. McGilly said, as they sipped lemonade in the living room.

“It’s just that from the time he was a little boy, we never thought Benny Jack was the marrying kind.”

“Well, I guess he just had to meet the right woman.” Trying to act extra-wifely, Lily reached for