The cost of vengeance - [21]

“And since he’s in jail,” Sanchez said with a big smile on his face. “We were wondering who was supplying her. That wouldn’t be you, would it, Leon?”

“No, sir. I don’t have no business in New York no more.” Leon looked at Kirk. “You know that, Kirk.”

“You made a deal with Black?”

Leon didn’t answer, but it was apparent that everybody but me knew what he was talking about. I knew I should just keep quiet since they seemed to be more interested in Leon than me, but I couldn’t. “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure, Miss Thomas, go ahead.”

“What are you doing here? I don’t know any of those people you mentioned; so why are you here?”

Kirk and Sanchez both stood up. “We came here hoping that you might help us find some of your boyfriend’s associates and we found you with Leon,” Kirk said. “I’m sorry to have bothered you. But I’m sure we’ll talk again.”

After that, the cops left my apartment and I breathed a sigh of relief. I looked at Leon. He was sitting there with his head in his hands. “That’s not good, Nina. You don’t wanna be nowhere around nothing Kirk is involved in. You need to shut down now and come South with me for a while until that is closed, or until Kirk moves on to something else.”

“Why? I didn’t kill none of them,” I said and knew that Shantia Lewis was the one Teena executed. “Why do you think we need to shut down?”

“Nina, listen to me. If Kirk came to see you, fuck what he said, that means he knows that you’re involved with Kenyatta. Next thing you know, they have you under surveillance, if they don’t already, and then you’ll be in jail.”

I trusted Leon, he was more than just my supplier, Leon was family. He was my mentor. It was Leon who taught me the game after Lorenzo went to jail. He told me that I needed to build my own team. And I did. The only exception to that was Kenyatta. I had known her since junior high school. And since I was the one that brought her to Lorenzo, I thought that she would be loyal to me-and she was. She was the foundation of my operation; where I moved the bulk of my product. Now she was dead and my being associated with her brought the cops to my door, and what’s worse was that Leon was there and now they suspected him. I had fucked up all the way around.

I looked at Leon, he looked worried and I had never seen him look that way. I knew he wasn’t worried about himself. He could get on a plane and head back to Jacksonville and never have to worry about the NYPD again. He was worried for me.

“Look, Nina. Maybe it’s time you think seriously about getting out of the game.”

“And do what?”

“Whatever you want to do. This ain’t your life you’re livin’; it’s Lorenzo’s life. It’s my life. I ain’t have no choices. This is what I was born and raised to do. What my daddy and my uncles have always done. I knew from the start that this life would end in one of two ways: That’s in jail or dead. Half my family is in jail, Nina. The rest gave they’re life to the game. That’s the way it is. But it ain’t got to be like that for you. You don’t have to do this, Nina. You been to college; got a degree. You’re still young, you’re pretty and you’re smart, Nina. You can do something with your life. I’ma say this one more time, Nina, then I’m done with it. Maybe it’s time you think seriously about getting out of the game. ’Cause I can guarantee you this, Kirk may not have no murder case on you, but if you stay in business, Sanchez will put a drug case on you and you’ll be in jail within a year.”

I didn’t want to hear that shit, but I knew he was right. “Okay, Leon, I get it.”

“Good,” Leon said and stood up. “I’m leaving in the morning. You let me know if I’m flyin’ alone.”

“Where’re you going now?”

“I’m going to see Angel. Why, you wanna come?”

“No,” I said quickly.

“Why you say it like that?”

“Angel makes me uncomfortable,” I said and walked Leon to the door.

“How does Angel make you uncomfortable?”

“Angel wants some pussy and I ain’t the one.”

“My sister does have a way with women.” Leon laughed. “Men too.”

“Whatever. You say hey to Angel for me, and call me tonight and I’ll let you know what I’m gonna do.”

After Leon left I thought about what he’d said and knew he was right. I mean, what was I doing? This was not the life I planned for myself. It took me five years, but I graduated from Hampton University with a degree in business administration. My plan after graduation was to have some fun hanging out with Teena and Shay for the summer, and then I’d get serious about getting a job in September. I had planned to work for a year and then go back for my master’s. I let all the things I had planned for myself after college, get away from me. I had been out of school for years and I hadn’t looked for a job or filled out an application to grad school. At first I got so caught up in Lorenzo and what he was doing, that I lost myself in being the baller’s woman. I loved Lorenzo and was happy to be anywhere he was, doing anything he was doing.

Then he went to jail, and instead of turning my life around and getting back to my plan, I let the money lead me to becoming a baller myself. I thought back to me, Shay, and Teena sitting in my living room, talking about getting into the game. And most importantly, avoiding Lorenzo’s fate.