Короткие пьесы - [64]

MA: Why did you do that? I have to call Aunt Gail.

BOB: Call her later.

MA: I want to call her now.

BOB: Can’t you see? I’m expecting a call.

MA: Who?

BOB: Emma will call. We agreed to go to the movies.

MA: Why don’t you call her?

BOB: It’s the Sabbath. Her family can’t use the phone until “first star”, like around sunset time.

MA: Give me the phone. Gail and I can certainly finish talking before sunset!

BOB: No! Emma will call any minute from a pay phone.

(Ma upset, falls into the sofa)

Call later after Emma and I go… or call her on your cell phone…

MA: I have to pay to use the cell phone before nine o’clock.

BOB: Call after nine… What’s the hurry?

MA: Aunt Gail owed me $100. She gave it back to me yesterday, but when I counted it, $10 was missing. Maybe this was her installment idea, or a mistake.

BOB: Why doesn’t Emma call? I asked her a week ago and I reminded her again yesterday. She promised to call. I hope… I hope…

MA: Try calling her yourself.

BOB: I did. No one answered. Maybe she’s sick.

MA: If she’s sick she certainly should have called you.

BOB: Look at me Ma. What’s different?

(Ma peers at BOB)

MA: You shaved! Why?

BOB: Girls were teasing me “Fuzz Face”. What do you think?

MA: That was such nice soft fuzz on your cheeks. I loved to stroke it. Where did you get the razor?

BOB: Uncle Ted, Aunt Gale’s boyfriend. He has an electric shaver.

MA: So soon…

BOB: I told you I wanted to shave.

MA: I know you wanted to shave for your date… Did you use an after-shave lotion?

BOB: No. Should have?

MA: All your pimples are bright red… Next time we’ll at least put some rubbing alcohol on your face after shaving…

BOB: I saw… I’m so embarrassed… Ma why doesn’t Emma call? She should…

MA: I don’t know… Instead of doing your homework you are wasting time shaving too soon and mooning over a girl. Silliness…

BOB: It’s not silly. I just want to go to the movies with Emma… Practically all the boys in my class have girl friends… I have nothing to boast about and, they don’t talk to me…

MA: And they won’t until you do better in school… Good marks get respect…

BOB: Girls don’t care about boys’ marks! They like boys who risk and clown and have to stay after school.

MA: Emma?

BOB: She’s smart…

MA: Then why don’t you work harder? Talk to her about hard homework…

BOB: There’s nothing I’m interested in…

MA: Now the school psychiatrist wants me to go and talk with him. Are you arguing with your teachers again?

BOB: They tell stories and stupid lies.

MA: What lies? Tell the truth now!

BOB: Mr. Small my biology teacher said that he’s reading Solzhenizin’s book “Archipelago Gulag” and that if a man peed outside in the winter cold the hospital could operate on his frozen penis without anesthesia!

(Pause)

I raised my hand and said this was stupid.

MA: How do you know that it was not true?

BOB: I didn’t, but I asked Uncle Ted and he agreed that it didn’t sound right.

MA: I really don’t care whether it can happen… tell me better about your session yesterday with the psychiatrist.

BOB (bored): He wanted me to put the words on some little wooden blocks in alphabetic order.

MA: So?

BOB: I don’t know the last part of the alphabet, so I built a pyramid out of the blocks…

MA: I’ve got a son who doesn’t want to learn and I have to go to school!

… Have you started that report you have to hand in Tuesday?

BOB: No, but…

MA: Emma won’t call you!

BOB: Why?

MA: When I was a little girl I studied hard and liked boys who were good in school. And you are just a… You just have to learn…

BOB: All you say is study, study… you forget that now it’s spring…

(For change the theme) Ma, tell me better how you met my father…

(Pause)

MA: That was a long time ago… in Russia… I don’t remember.

BOB: But I want to know something about my father…You loved him?

(Pause)

MA: Yes, I loved him…

BOB: Was he your first love?

MA: First, no! When I was in school there was the boy that I liked, all the girls liked him too…

(Pause)

BOB: Did he like you?

(Pause)

MA: No.

BOB: So nothing happened?

MA: Something…

BOB: What?

MA: I wrote him a letter saying how much I liked him… and he told everybody that he was my “Heart Throb”.

BOB: And then?

MA: The whole class laughed at me.

BOB: And you?

MA: I cried.

BOB (sympathizing): All saw you cry?

MA: I cried at home… But I went to school after that… And learned all my lessons…

BOB: What happened after that?

MA: I graduated that spring and went to work…

BOB: And? Where did you meet my father?

MA: We worked in the same place.

(Ma laughs to herself)

BOB: Why are you laughing?

MA: I just remembered how we met.

BOB: How?

MA: We all ate lunch in the same cafeteria. When I saw him the first time I thought, “He’s for me”, but he walked right by. He didn’t notice me. So I set out to try. I jumped in back of him in line. He put a bowl of soup on his tray. I quickly hit his tray with mine. His soup spilled all over his tray. He glanced at me and wanted to swear, but then I took the exact same soup as his. We sat at the same table and traded soups. That’s how our friendship started.

BOB (laughing admiringly): You were quick! And then?

MA: