Короткие пьесы - [60]
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ANNA: I’m afraid you’ll hit something…
MIKLE: Have to go faster…I’m afraid….
ANNA: That last light was red!
MIKLE: Huh huh…
ANNA (hanging on for dear life): Oh…oh I can’t!… Stop!
(Pause)
ANNA (continues) Mikle, I made it all up!… All…About husband…about affair… I have no husband…I’ve never been married.
MIKLE: Made up?
ANNA: Fantasies. They woke you!
MIKLE: Made up? Prove it!
ANNA: I was trying to keep you awake!… I’m sorry!
MIKLE: Made up?…Sorry!…
ANNA: I’ll swear on it… Just a good story.
MIKLE: Never sex on the floor and in the car?
ANNA: Never! Honest!
MIKLE: Hardly! You lied to your husband. You’re lying to me. Lies!
(Both are thrown back as the car accelerates more)
ANNA: Do I really look like a married woman? Look at me!
MIKLE (looking straight ahead): You really…don’t look…
ANNA: And what do I look like… in your opinion?
MIKLE: No one!
ANNA: That’s all?
MIKLE: Don’t know…maybe a prostitute…
ANNA (starts to whack Michael on the shoulder): You’re mean. Nasty! Stop! I want to get out!
MIKLE (jerking the wheel): Stop it! I hit the curb!
ANNA (opens the car window and shouts): Help! Police! Help!
MIKLE: Shut up! Shut the window!
ANNA: You asked me to wake you up…”Say something interesting”…
MIKLE (grimly): Best you had been quiet…
ANNA (car swerves, she shouts): If I had been quiet you would have had an accident… We both would be dead…
MIKLE: Be quiet!
ANNA: Why?
MIKLE: I need to concentrate… Why did you become this kind of woman?
ANNA: What kind of woman?
MIKLE: A liar! Maybe your husband was very kind to you? Did he give you a lot of freedom? Did he just talk with friends and not pay much attention to you?
ANNA: No husband, no boyfriend… Only my dreams…
MIKLE: I don’t care. I don’t believe you…
ANNA: If you don’t believe me you can ask at the hospital.
MIKLE (car slows): That’s my house. Yellow, on the right……
(Mikle’ turns his head and looks right for a bit)
MIKLE: Nope! Her car is gone. She’s left…
(Both jerk forward as the car stops. Then they sink
back again as the car accelerates forward.)
MIKLE: She left early… I’ll take you to the hospital.
(They ride in silence for a long time. Finally)
MIKLE: Which entrance is yours?
ANNA: There on the left!…I’m embarrassed! I’m sorry Mikle!
(Car swerves. Anna falls enough to touch Mikle)
MIKLE: Thanks for keeping me awake (beat)….Here you are…
ANNA (as she gets out): Thanks for the ride…I rather enjoyed part of it…
(Pause)
MIKLE I (confidently): Anyhow… I’ll pick you up tomorrow!
THE END
UNEXPECTED PROBLEM
MIKE – a man of 65 years old
BOB – a friend of Mike, 70 years old.
(Mike, very excited, rushes into Bob’s place. It’s a late evening. Mike has come to share his problem with his friend)
BOB: Mike, what’s up? What’s happened?
MIKE: I’ve have a problem.
BOB: Well, I’m all ears…
MIKE: What’re you drinking? Pour it out for me, please.
BOB: It’s whisky. With water or neat?
MIKE: Neat.
BOB: To our friendship. (They click glasses and drink). I’m listening, keep to the point.
MIKE: My wife refuses to sleep with me.
BOB: Big deal! It’s not a problem at our age. Sleep alone.
MIKE: This is not the point. She refuses to have sex with me.
BOB: She is your lawful wife. She has no right. Insist.
MIKE: But, if she doesn’t want… I can’t rape her.
BOB: How does she explain her refusal?
MIKE: She liked it once, but not now. What l do?
BOB: Well.. May be you’ve hurt her?
MIKE: There was nothing of this kind. We didn’t argue.
BOB: You could’ve said something insulting.
MIKE: I said nothing.
BOB: Nothing while having sex?
MIKE: I usually do this in silence.
BOB: And what about her?
MIKE: She usually says something, but I don’t listen.
BOB: You’ve to listen and say something in return.
MIKE: What do I have to say?
BOB: For instance: how you do like it, how you love her, what beautiful boobs she has.
MIKE: Who’s taught you?
BOB: My own experience.
MIKE: As far as I know, you got divorced from your wife five years ago.
BOB: But my chicks… You don’t take them into consideration… Well, did you try anything to do?
MIKE: What should I do?
BOB: To persuade, to talk her into it…
MIKE: I’ve already tried.
BOB: What was her reaction?
MIKE: No result.
BOB: You see women… They need emotions.
MIKE: What kind of emotions?
BOB: Jealousy. All kind of feelings… Well, you know what I’d do in your place? I’d say her: «OK…you refuse having sex with me, so don’t mind if I find another woman to have sex with».
MIKE: Do you mean to look for a woman in the street? I’m over that age for this.
BOB: Why in the street? Your neighbor in the apartment opposite yours will perfectly do… Did you see her figure? Boobs, hips, and the rest…
MIKE: She is not my kind. She’s prostitute
BOB: Why?
MIKE: All kind of men from the street visit her.
BOB: It’s wonderful
MIKE: It’s dangerous.
BOB: Let me see… (a pause) You know, every woman needs attention, gifts. Did you try to give her any presents?
MIKE: Once I gave her flowers… She threw them in my face and said that she knew what that besom was for.
BOB: You have to be more creative.
MIKE: How?
BOB: Remember your first encounter… The way you strove to win her…
MIKE: Everything happened without any efforts…