Уверенность в себе. Как повысить самооценку, преодолеть страхи и сомнения [заметки]

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В коллективистских обществах, например в Японии, не боготворят уверенность так, как это делают на Западе, и даже в западной культуре одержимость высокой уверенностью встречается достаточно редко. Например, в иудео-христианской традиции смирение считается гораздо более добродетельным, чем гордость; в Средние века гордость считали сатанинским грехом и избегали ее из всех сил.

Суммарная, или совместная вероятность: результат объединения вероятностей каждого из определенных событий. – Прим. пер.

Российские аналоги: «Голос» и «Народный артист».

Психологический контракт – набор взаимных и непрописанных ожиданий, существующих между работником и работодателем. – Прим. пер.

Просоциальное поведение (prosocial behaviour) можно определить как такое, которое осуществляется ради блага другого человека и без надежды на вознаграждение. Противоположность асоциальному. – Прим. пер.

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Можно найти тысячи таких примеров, набрав в Google «уверенность» и «успех».

R. Lubit, “The Long-Term Organizational Impact of Destructively Narcissistic Managers,” Academy of Management Executive 16, no. 1 (2002): 127–38.

J. M. Twenge and W. K. Campbell, The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement (New York: Free Press, 2009).

N. Galambos, E. Barker, and H. Krahn, “Depression, Self-esteem, and Anger in Emerging Adulthood: Seven-Year Trajectories,” Developmental Psychology 42, no. 2 (2006): 350–65.

F. S. Stinson, D. A. Dawson, R. B. Goldstein, S. P. Chou, B. Huang, S. M. Smith, W. J. Ruan, et al., “Prevalence, Correlates, Disability, and Comorbidity of DSM – IV Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Results from the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions,” Journal of Clinical Psychiatry 69, no. 7, (2008): 1033–45.

Jeffrey Kluger, “How America’s Children Packed on the Pounds,” Time, June 12, 2008. Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/384722-how-much-have-obesity-rates-risen-since-1950/#ixzz20Ef9NhvT.

См., например, P. Kirschner and A. Karpinski, “Facebook and Academic Performance,” Computers in Human Behavior 26, no. 6 (2010): 1237–45.

Facebook позволяет пользователям ставить лайки собственным постам. Как шутливо заметил недавно один пользователь, «Зачем Facebook вообще дал возможность лайкать мой собственный статус? Разумеется, мне нравится мой статус, я охрененно прикольный! И сексуальный». Если бы это была просто шутка…

T. Ryan and S. Xenos, “Who Uses Facebook? An Investigation into the Relationship Between the Big Five, Shyness, Narcissism, Loneliness, and Facebook Usage,” Computers in Human Behavior 27, no. 5 (2011): 1658–64.

W. Compton, K. Conway, F. Stinson, and B. Grant, “Changes in the Prevalence of Major Depression and Comorbid Substance Use Disorders in the United States Between 1991–1992 and 2001–2002,” American Journal of Psychiatry 163, no. 12 (2006): 2141–47.

G. Parker, G. Gladstone, and K. T. Chee, “Depression in the Planet’s Largest Ethnic Group: the Chinese,” American Journal of Psychiatry 158, no. 6 (2001): 857–64.

“Health Topics: Depression,” World Health Organization, http://www.who.int/topics/depression/en/.

На момент написания этой главы у Coca-Cola было 41 344 619 лайков на Facebook.

Гении маркетинга из Coca-Cola очень хорошо поняли, что в нарциссическом обществе люди обожают чувствовать довольство собой. Вот почему Coca-Cola стала самым узнаваемым брендом на планете: ее логотип знает 94 % населения Земли. Вы можете сказать, что это объясняется приятным вкусом кока-колы, но неужели вы и вправду думаете, что у пепси-колы вкус намного хуже? Успех кока-колы основывается не на якобы секретном рецепте напитка, а на умелом брендинге и притягательности бренда для культуры нарциссизма.

N. Herr, “Television & Health,” Internet Resources to Accompany the Sourcebook for Teaching Science, http://www.csun.edu/science/health/docs/tv&health.html.

Marketdata Enterprises, “Self-improvement Market Growth Slows, as Recession Takes Toll and Consumers Await the Next Big Thing,” press release, October 14, 2008.

K. Schulz, “The Self in Self-help,” New York, January 6, 2013, http://nymag.com/health/self-help/2013/schulz-self-searching/.

S. Salerno, SHAM: How the Self-help Movement Made America Helpless (New York: Crown Publishers, 2005).

R. F. Baumeister, J. D. Campbell, J. I. Krueger, and K. D. Vohs, “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?” Psychological Science in the Public Interest 4, no. 1 (2003): 1–44.

Если корреляция равняется 0, вероятность того, что одно событие происходит, когда произошло другое событие (например, наличие у вас компетентности, когда вы производите впечатление уверенного), равняется 50 % (равные шансы). Для перевода других корреляций в вероятности типа «да/нет» нужно разделить коэффициент корреляции на 2 и прибавить полученное число к точке отсчета (50 %). Поскольку корреляция между уверенностью и компетентностью составляет 0,30, вероятность того, что одно событие происходит, когда произошло другое событие, равняется 65 % (30/2 = 15 + 50 = 65).

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance,” 7.

E. Diener, B. Wolsic, and F. Fujita, “Physical Attractiveness and Subjective Well-being,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 69, no. 1 (1995): 120–29.

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance,” 8. 24. I. Schmidt, I. Berg, and B. Deelman, “Prospective Memory Training in Older Adults,” Educational Gerontology 27, no. 6 (2001): 455–78.

Schmidt, I., Berg, I. & Deelman, B. “Prospective Memory Training in Older Adults,” Educational Gerontology 27, no. 6 (2001): 455–78.

V. Hoorens and P. Harris, “Distortions in Reports of Health Behaviors: The Time Span Effect and Illusory Superiority,” Psychology and Health 13, no. 3 (1998): 451–66.

L. Larwood and W. Whittaker, “Managerial Myopia: Self-serving Biases in Organizational Planning,” Journal of Applied Psychology 62, no. 2 (1977): 194–98.

R. B. Felson, “Ambiguity and Bias in the Self-concept,” Social Psychology Quarterly 44, no. 1 (1981): 64–69.

Y. Endo, S. Heine, and D. Lehman, “Culture and Positive Illusions in Close Relationships: How My Relationships Are Better Than Yours,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 26, no. 12 (2000): 1571–86.

O. Svenson, “Are We All Less Risky and More Skillful Than Our Fellow Drivers?” Acta Psychologica 47, no. 2 (1981): 143–48.

College Board, “Student Descriptive Questionnaire” (Princeton, NJ: Educational Testing Service, 1976–1977).

K. P. Cross, “Not Can, But Will College Teaching Be Improved?” New Directions for Higher Education 17 (1977): 1–15.

Разумеется, возможны случаи, когда большинство людей превышает среднестатистический показатель. Например, у большинства людей больше ног, чем у среднестатистического человека: из-за некоторого количества людей, у которых одна нога либо вообще отсутствуют нижние конечности, среднее число ног получается меньше двух. То же самое происходит, когда данные положительно асимметричны, что подразумевает, что большинство людей окажутся «ниже среднего». Известный пример: у большинства людей зарплата меньше среднестатистической, поскольку среднестатистическая зарплата раздута за счет небольшого количества людей со сверхвысокими зарплатами. Однако в большинстве случаев мы имеем дело с нормальным распределением переменных, что делает статистическое среднее примерно равным средней точке шкалы, а также наиболее часто встречающемуся значению.

J. Friedrich,“On Seeing Oneself as Less Self-serving Than Others: The Ultimate Self-serving Bias?” Teaching of Psychology 23, no. 2 (1996): 107–9.

E. Pronin, D. Y. Lin, and L. Ross, “The Bias Blind Spot: Perceptions of Bias in Self Versus Others,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 28, no. 3 (2002): 369–81.

Ibid., 378.

T. Sharot, “The Optimism Bias,” Current Biology 21, no. 23 (2011): R941–45.

University of California, San Diego, “California’s Leadership in Tobacco Control Resulted in Lower Lung Cancer Rate, Study Finds,” ScienceDaily, September 29, 2010, http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/09/100929142131.htm.

D. Thompson, The Fix (London, UK: Harper Collins, 2012).

C. Colvin, J. Block, and D. C. Funder, “Overly Positive Self-Evaluations and Personality: Negative Implications for Mental Health,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 68, no. 6 (1995):1152–62.

Ibid., 1156.

Ibid., 1159.

R. Trivers, The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-deception in Human Life (New York: Basic Books, 2011).

K. H. Lambird and T. Mann, “When Do Ego Threats Lead to Self-regulation Failure? Negative Consequences of Defensive High Self-esteem,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 32, no. 9 (2006): 1177–87.

D. L. Paulhus, P. D. Harms, M. N. Bruce, and D. C. Lysy, “The Over-Claiming Technique: Measuring Self-Enhancement Independent of Ability,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 84, no. 4 (2003): 890–904.

Неудивительно, что депрессия – не редкость у добившихся исключительно высоких результатов людей, взять хотя бы Вуди Аллена, Чарльза Диккенса, Федора Достоевского, Харрисона Форда и Микеланджело. Еще один известный пример – Фридрих Ницше с его знаменитым изречением «Что не убивает меня, то делает меня сильнее» – неплохой подход к депрессии!

P. W. Andrews and J. A. Thomson Jr., “The Bright Side of Being Blue: Depression as an Adaptation for Analyzing Complex Problems,” Psychological Review 116, no. 3 (2009): 620–54.

D. H. Barlow, Anxiety and Its Disorders: The Nature and Treatment of Anxiety and Panic, 2nd ed. (New York: Guilford Press, 2002).

D. H. Zald and J. V. Pardo, “Emotion, Olfaction, and the Human Amygdala: Amygdala Activation During Aversive Olfactory Stimulation,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America 94, no. 8 (1997): 4119–24.

W. E. Lee, M. E. Wadsworth, and M. Hotopf, “The Protective Role of Trait Anxiety: A Longitudinal Cohort Study,” Psychological Medicine 36, no. 3 (2006): 345–51.

M. O. Johnson, “HIV Vaccine Volunteers: Personality, Motivation and Risk,” ProQuest Information & Learning, AAM9839840 (1999).

P. Simpson-Housley, A. F. De Man, and R. Yachnin, “Trait-Anxiety and Appraisal of Flood Hazard: A Brief Comment,” Psychological Reports 58, no. 2 (1986): 509–10.

См. главу 7, где об этом рассказывается подробнее.

I. M. Marks and R. M. Nesse, “Fear and Fitness: An Evolutionary Analysis of Anxiety Disorders,” Ethology and Sociobiology 15 (1994): 247–61.

“Statistics,” National Institute of Mental Health, http://www.nimh.nih.gov/statistics/.

C. Blanco, M. Okuda, C. Wright, D. S. Hasin, B. F. Grant, S. M. Liu, and M. Olfson, “Mental Health of College Students and Their Non-College Attending Peers: Results from the National Epidemiologic Study on Alcohol and Related Conditions,” Archives of General Psychiatry 65, no. 12 (2008): 1429–37.

K. Belzer and F. Schneier, “Comorbidity of Anxiety and Depressive Disorders: Issues in Conceptualization, Assessment, and Treatment,” Journal of Psychiatric Practice 10, no. 5 (2004): 296–306.

E. Gut, Productive and Unproductive Depression: Success or Failure of a Vital Process (New York: Basic Books, 1989).

D. Nettle, “Evolutionary Origins of Depression: A Review and Reformulation,” Journal of Affective Disorders 81, no. 2 (2004): 91–102

L. B. Alloy and L. Y. Abramson, “Judgment of Contingency in Depressed and Nondepressed Students: Sadder but Wiser?” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 108, no. 4 (1979): 441–85; K. Dobson and R. Franche, “A Conceptual and Empirical Review of the Depressive Realism Hypothesis,” Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science 21, no. 4 (1989): 419–33.

R. L. Leahy, “Pessimism and the Evolution of Negativity,” Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy 16, no. 3 (2002): 295–316.

Marks and Nesse, “Fear and Fitness,” 254.

Сунь-цзы. Искусство войны. М.: Литература, 1950. С. 21.

T. Gilovich, How We Know What Isn’t So: The Fallibility of Human Reason in Everyday Life (New York: Free Press, 1991).

“Male Traders Are from Mars,” Economist, May 18, 2009, http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange/2009/05/male_traders_are_from_mars.

J. M. Coates and J. Herbert, “Endogenous Steroids and Financial Risk Taking on a London Trading Floor,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America 105, no. 16 (2008): 6167–72.

V. H. Galbraith, The Making of Domesday Book (London: Clarendon Press, 1961), 30.

J. Lammers, J. Stoker, J. Jordan, M. Pollman, and D. Stapel, “Power Increases Infidelity Among Men and Women,” Psychological Science 22, no. 9 (2011): 1191–97.

J. Polivy and C. Herman, “If at First You Don’t Succeed: False Hopes of Self-Change,” American Psychologist 57, no. 9 (2002): 677–89.

D. Cervone and P. K. Peake, “Anchoring, Efficacy, and Action: The Influence of Judgmental Heuristics on Self-Efficacy Judgments and Behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 50, no. 3 (1986): 492–501.

W. T. Powers, “Commentary on Bandura’s ‘Human Agency:’ American Psychologist 46, no. 2 (1991): 151–53.

J. B. Vancouver, C. M. Thompson, E. C. Tischner, and D. J. Putka, “Two Studies Examining the Negative Effect of Self-Efficacy on Performance,” Journal of Applied Psychology 87, no. 3 (2002): 506–16.

D. N. Stone, “Overconfidence in Initial Self-Efficacy Judgments: Effects on Decision Processes and Performance,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 59, no. 3 (1994): 452–74.

W. T. Powers, Behavior: The Control of Perception (Chicago: Aldine, 1973).

J. T. Austin and J. B. Vancouver, “Goal Constructs in Psychology: Structure, Process, and Content,” Psychological Bulletin 120, no. 3 (1996): 338–75.

Карнеги Д. Как завоевывать друзей и оказывать влияние на людей. Мн.: Попурри, 2013.

“Johnny Depp Quote,” Said What? http://www.saidwhat.co.uk/quotes/celebrity/johnny_depp/my_self-image_it_still_isnt_that_751.

Cara Lee, “Robbie: I Wasn’t on Drugs,” Sun, October 20, 2009, http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/x_factor/2690850/Robbie-Williams-I-wasnt-on-drugs.html.

Cristina Everett, “Demi Moore Reveals Her Biggest Fear Is She’s ‘Not Worthy of Being Loved’: Actress Calls Herself a ‘Warrior’ After Ashton Kutcher Split,” Daily News, January 4, 2012, http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012–01–04/news/30590839_1_scares-demi-moore-moore-talks.

Патологическим проявлением принципа «Играй роль, пока роль не станет тобой» является так называемый «синдром самозванца». Люди с таким синдромом не верят в заслуженность собственного успеха и считают, что провели окружающих, заставив их считать себя компетентными, – пример того, как можно убедить в своей компетентности других, не убедив себя. Более мягкое проявление такого синдрома было бы неплохим способом обращаться с собственной уверенностью.

C. F. Bond Jr. and B. M. DePaulo, “Accuracy of Deception Judgements,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 10, no. 3 (2006): 214–34.

Ibid., 214.

Некоторые эмоции – те, что тяжелее всего контролировать, и наиболее сильные – до сих пор отражают эволюционную связь между уверенностью и компетентностью. Когда мы сконфужены, мы краснеем, и чем больше стараемся этого избежать, тем сильнее краснеем. Другой пример: когда мы испуганы или возбуждены, мы спонтанно сообщаем окружающим о нашем страхе или радости и т. д.

E. Pronin and M. B. Kugler, “People Believe They Have More Free Will Than Others,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America 107, no. 52 (2010): 22469–74.

N. M. Kierein and M. A. Gold, “Pygmalion in Work Organizations: A Meta-analysis,” Journal of Organizational Behavior 21, no. 8 (2000): 913–28.

T. Chamorro-Premuzic, Personality and Individual Differences, 2nd ed. (Oxford, UK: Wiley-Blackwell, 2011).

Видимо, нет более яркого проявления этого правила, чем печальный пример абортов по половому признаку. В таких странах, как Индия, Южная Корея и Китай, сегодня непропорционально много мужчин, и этот неестественный отбор объясняется верой родителей в то, что сыновья будут компетентнее дочерей. См.: M. Hvistendahl, Unnatural Selection: The Consequences of Choosing Boys Over Girls. (New York: Public Affairs, 2011).

A. M. Koenig, A. H. Eagly, A. A. Mitchell, and T. Ristikari, “Are Leader Stereotypes Masculine? A Meta-Analysis of Three Research Paradigms,” Psychological Bulletin 137, no. 4 (2011): 616–42.

S. Wellington, M. B. Kropf, and P. R. Gerkovich, “What’s Holding Women Back?” Harvard Business Review 81, no. 6 (2003): 18–19.

W. Wosinska, A. J. Dabul, R. Whetstone-Dion, and R. B. Cialdini, “Self-Presentational Responses to Success in the Organization: The Costs and Benefits of Modesty,” Basic and Applied Social Psychology 18, no. 2 (1996): 229–42.

Кстати, это половое различие можно объяснить тем фактом, что чрезмерная скромность у женщин и более распространена, чем у мужчин, и более искренна.

Wosinska et al., “Self-Presentational Responses to Success,” 239.

«Лидеры пятого уровня: триумф скромности и жесткой решительности». Октябрь 2006 г. Классика HBR.

С подробным обсуждением значения прогнозируемого намерения можно познакомиться в: G. D. Reeder, “Mindreading: Judgments About Intentionality and Motives in Dispositional Inference,” Psychological Inquiry 20, no. 1 (2009): 1–18.

B. S. Connelly and D. S. Ones, “An Other Perspective on Personality: Meta-analytic Integration of Observers’ Accuracy and Predictive Validity,” Psychological Bulletin 136, no. 6 (2010): 1092–122.

Проверьте сами: спросите у друзей, каким они вас видят, и вы убедитесь, что по большому счету они единодушны, даже если вы не согласны с их мнением.

Кули Ч. Х. Человеческая природа и социальный порядок. М.: Идея-Пресс, 2000.

G. H. Mead and D. L. Miller, The Individual and the Social Self: Unpublished Work of George Herbert Mead (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1982), 5.

M. Leary, “Motivational and Emotional Aspects of the Self,” Annual Review of Psychology 58 (2007): 317–44.

J. S. Beer and D. Keltner, “What Is Unique About Self-Conscious Emotions?” Psychological Inquiry 15, no. 2 (2004): 126–70.

100

A. H. Baumgardner, C. M. Kaufman, and P. E. Levy, “Regulating Affect Interpersonally: When Low Esteem Leads to Greater Enhancement,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 56, no. 6 (1989): 907–21.

101

R. F. Baumeister, “A Self-Presentational View of Social Phenomena,” Psychological Bulletin 91, no. 1 (1982): 3–26.

102

L. H. Somerville, W. M. Kelley, and T. F. Heatherton, “Self-esteem Modulates Medial Prefrontal Cortical Responses to Evaluative Social Feedback,” Cerebral Cortex 20, no. 12 (2010): 3005–13.

103

T. Sharot, C. W. Korn, and R. J. Dolan, “How Unrealistic Optimism Is Maintained in the Face of Reality,” Nature Neuroscience 14, no. 11 (2011): 1475–79.

104

24 мая 2006 г. за это реалити-шоу проголосовало 63 млн человек – почти на 10 млн голосов больше, чем получил Рональд Рейган на выборах 1984 г.

105

C. U. Greven, N. Harlaar, Y. Kovas, T. Chamorro-Premuzic, and R. Plomin, “More Than Just IQ: School Achievement Is Predicted by Self-Perceived Abilities – But for Genetic Rather Than Environmental Reasons,” Psychological Science 20, no. 6 (2009):753–62; T. Chamorro-Premuzic, N. Harlaar, C. U. Greven, and R. Plomin, “More Than Just IQ: A Longitudinal Examination of Self-Perceived Abilities as Predictors of Academic Performance in a Large Sample of UK Twins,” Intelligence 38, no. 4 (2010): 385–92.

106

T. Chamorro-Premuzic and A. Furnham, Personality and Intellectual Competence (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2005).

107

Я вовсе не желаю оскорбить одну из икон современного корпоративного мира, просто констатирую факт: Марк Цукерберг производит впечатление человека, вполне осознающего границы своих лидерских способностей, с учетом того, что он взял на пост главного операционного директора великолепную Шэрил Сэндберг (ранее бывшую вице-президентом Google). И все же не могу не сказать, что рыночная оценка Facebook больше относится к вопросам уверенности, чем компетентности.

108

T. Chamorro-Premuzic and A. Furnham, The Psychology of Personnel Selection (New York: Cambridge University Press, 2010).

109

R. Hogan and R. Kaiser, “How to Assess Integrity,” Consulting Psychology Journal (готовится к выходу).

110

Chamorro-Premuzic, Personality and Individual Differences.

111

“Strategic Consulting,” Gallup, http://www.gallup.com/consulting/52/employee-engagement.aspx/.

112

J. Hillard and E. Pollard, Employability: Developing a Framework for Policy Analysis (Nottingham, UK: Department of Education and Employment, 1998).

113

“Civilian Labor Force Participation Rate,” Bureau of Labor Statistics, http://data.bls.gov/timeseries/LNS11300000years_option=specific_years&include_graphs=true&to_month=1&from_month=2.

114

“The Joyless or the Jobless,”, November 25, 2010.

115

Y. Baruch and N. Bozionelos, “Career Issues,” in, Vol. 2, ed. S. Zedeck (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2011), 67–133.

116

Chamorro-Premuzic and Furnham, Personality and Intellectual Competence.

117

T. Chamorro-Premuzic and A. Furnham, “Intellectual Competence and the Intelligent Personality: A Third Way in Differential Psychology,” Review of General Psychology 10, no. 3 (2006): 251–67.

118

C. Mueller and C. Dweck, “Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children’s Motivation and Performance,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75, no. 1 (1998): 33–42.

119

Гладуэлл М. Гении и аутсайдеры. Почему одним все, а другим ничего? М.: Манн, Иванов и Фербер, 2013.

120

A. K. Ericsson, N. Charness, P. Feltovich, and R. R. Hoffman, The Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance (Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press, 2006).

121

B. Tulgan, Winning the Talent Wars: How to Build a Lean, Flexible, High-Performance Workplace (New York: W. W. Norton, 2001).

122

P. Brown and A. Hesketh, The Mismanagement of Talent: Employability and Jobs in the Knowledge Economy (Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 2004), 153.

123

R. Hogan, T. Chamorro-Premuzic, and R. Kaiser, “Employablity: Who Can Get and Keep a Job?” Perspectives of Industrial-Organizational Psychology (готовится к выходу).

124

Ibid.

125

Gallup, “Strategic Consulting.”

126

«Лидеры пятого уровня: триумф скромности и жесткой решительности». Октябрь 2006 г. Классика HBR.

127

R. Hogan, Personality and the Fate of Organizations (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2007).

128

T. A. Judge, J. E. Bono, R. Ilies, and M. W. Gerhardt, “Personality and Leadership: A Qualitative and Quantitative Review,” Journal of Applied Psychology 87, no. 4 (2002): 765–80.

129

Естественно, быть милым окупается не всегда. Данные недавних исследований свидетельствуют, что мужчины, которые производят впечатление доброжелательных и тактичных, зарабатывают меньше своих более конфликтных и агрессивных коллег (см. T. A. Judge, B. A. Livingstone, and C. Hurst, “Do Nice Guys – and Gals – Really Finish Last? The Joint Effects of Sex and Agreeableness on Income,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 102, no. 2 [2012]: 390–407). Но так или иначе, людям, с которыми неприятно общаться, труднее добиться успеха в карьере.

130

B. Dattner, The Blame Game: How the Hidden Rules of Credit and Blame Determine Our Success or Failure (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011), 52.

131

P. A. Mabe and S. G. West, “Validity of Self-evaluation of Ability: A Review and Meta-analysis,” Journal of Applied Psychology 67, no. 3 (1982): 280–96.

132

B. M. DePaulo, K. Charlton, H, Cooper, J. J. Lindsay, and L. Muhlenbruck, “The Accuracy-Confidence Correlation in the Detection of Deception,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 1, no. 4 (1997): 346–57.

133

J. Brockner and A. J. Blethyn Hulton, “How to Reverse the Vicious Cycle of Low Self-esteem: The Importance of Attentional Focus,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 14, no. 6 (1978): 564–78.

134

J. A. Bishop and H. M. Inderbitzen, “Peer Acceptance and Friendship: An Investigation of Their Relation to Self-esteem,” Journal of Early Adolescence 15, no. 4 (1995): 476–89.

135

Эти результаты были воспроизведены Долчини и Адлер (1994): “Perceived Competencies, Peer Group Affiliation, and Risk Behavior Among Early Adolescents,” Health Psychology 13, no. 6 (1994): 496–506.

136

G. R. Adams, B. A. Ryan, M. Ketsetzis, and L. Keating, “Rule Compliance and Peer Sociability: A Study of Family Process, School-Focused Parent-Child Interactions, and Children’s Classroom Behavior,” Journal of Family Psychology 14, no. 2 (2000): 237–50.

137

D. Buhrmester, W. Furman, M. T. Wittenberg, and H. T. Reis, “Five Domains of Interpersonal Competence in Peer Relationships,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 55, no. 6 (1988): 991–1008.

138

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance,” 16–17.

139

G. A. Bonanno, N. P. Field, A. Kovacevic, and S. Kaltman, “Self-enhancement as a Buffer Against Extreme Adversity: Civil War in Bosnia and Traumatic Loss in the United States,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 28 (2002): 184–96.

140

J. W. Atkinson, “Motivational Determinants of Risk Taking Behavior,” Psychological Review 64, no. 6 (1957): 359–72.

141

R. F. Baumeister, D. M. Tice, and D. G. Hutton, “Self-Presentational Motivations and Personality Differences in Self-esteem,” Journal of Personality 57, no. 2 (1989): 547–79.

142

R. F. Baumeister, J. C. Hamilton, and D. M. Tice, “Public Versus Private Expectancy of Success: Confidence Booster or Performance Pressure?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 48, no. 6 (1985): 1447–57.

143

Baumeister et al., “Self-Presentational Motivations,” 553.

144

D. B. McFarlin and J. Blascovich, “Effects of Self-esteem and Performance Feedback on Future Affective Preferences and Cognitive Expectations,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 40, no. 3 (1981): 521–31.

145

Baumeister et al., “Self-Presentational Motivations,” 557.

146

S. J. Heine, D. R. Lehman, H. R. Markus, and S. Kitayama, “Is There a Universal Need for Positive Self-regard?” Psychological Review 106, no. 4 (1999): 766–94.

147

E. E. Jones and X. Pittman, “Toward a General Theory of Strategic Self-Presentation,”in Psychological Perspectives on the Self, Vol. 1, ed. J. Suls (Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum, 1982), 231–62.

148

J. Kruger and D. Dunning, “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-assessments,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 77, no. 6 (1999): 1121–34.

149

M. R. Leary, “Motivational and Emotional Aspects of the Self,” Annual Review of Psychology 58 (2007): 317–44.

150

P. Gilbert, “Evolution and Social Anxiety: The Role of Attraction, Social Competition, and Social Hierarchies,” Psychiatric Clinics of North America 24, no. 4 (2001): 723–51.

151

F. Vertue, “From Adaptive Emotion to Dysfunction: An Attachment Perspective on Social Anxiety Disorder,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 7, no. 2 (2003): 170–91.

152

J. Bowlby, Attachment: Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1, 2nd ed. (New York; Basic Books, 1982).

153

K. Bartholomew, “Avoidance of Intimacy: An Attachment Perspective,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 7, no. 2 (1990): 147–78.

154

E. L. Thorndike, “Intelligence and Its Uses,” Harper’s Magazine, January 1920.

155

R. Hogan and T. Chamorro-Premuzic,“Personality and the Laws of History,” in The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Individual Differences, ed. T. Chamorro-Premuzic, S. von Stumm, and A. Furnham (Oxford, UK: Wiley-Blackwell, 2011).

156

D. M. Tice, J. L. Butler, M. B. Muraven, and A. M. Stillwell, “When Modesty Prevails: Differential Favorability of Self-Presentation to Friends and Strangers,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 69, no. 6 (1995): 1120–38.

157

L. Wheeler and J. Nezlek, “Sex Differences in Social Participation,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 35, no. 10 (1977): 742–54.

158

B. M. DePaulo, D. A. Kashy, S. E. Kirkendol, M. M. Wyer, and J. A. Epstein,“Lying in Everyday Life,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 70, no. 5 (1996): 979–95.

159

R. F. Baumeister and K. J. Cairns, “Repression and Self-Presentation: When Audiences Interfere with Self-Deceptive Strategies,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 62, no. 5 (1992): 851–62.

160

L. Uziel, “Rethinking Social Desirability Scales: From Impression Management to Interpersonally Oriented Self-control,” Perspectives on Psychological Science 5, no. 3 (2010): 243–62.

161

D. B. Guralnik, ed., Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language (New York: New American Library, 1984).

162

B. A. Pontari and B. R. Schlenker, “The Influence of Cognitive Load on Self-Presentation: Can Cognitive Busyness Help as Well as Harm Social Performance?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 78, no. 6 (2000): 1092–1108.

163

Ibid., 1102.

164

Карнеги Д. Как завоевывать друзей и оказывать влияние на людей. Мн.: Попурри, 2013.

165

E. D. Heggestad and M. J. Morrison, “An Inductive Exploration of the Social Effectiveness Construct Space,” Journal of Personality 76, no. 4 (2008): 839–74.

166

Обзор культурных различий в восприятии привлекательности см. в: V. Swami and A. Furnham, eds., Body Beautiful: Evolutionary and Socio-Cultural Perspectives (Basingstoke, UK: Palgrave Macmillan, 2008).

167

M. T. Gabriel, J. W. Critelli, and J. S. Ee, “Narcissistic Illusions in Self-evaluations of Intelligence and Attractiveness,” Journal of Personality 62, no. 1 (1994): 143–55.

168

Данное исследование обнаружило корреляцию между самооцениваемой и фактической привлекательностью всего лишь в 0,13. Другими словами, если мы знаем, что кто-то привлекателен, вероятность того, что сам он считает себя привлекательным, составляет 56,5 %, а если мы знаем, что кто-то непривлекателен, вероятность того, что сам он считает себя непривлекательным, составляет те же 56,5 %.

169

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance,”1.

170

“Dating in the Dark,” Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating_in_the_Dark.

171

M. D. Back, L. Penke, S. C. Schmukle, K. Sachse, P. Borkenau, and J. B. Asendorpf, “Why Mate Choices Are Not as Reciprocal as We Assume: The Role of Personality, Flirting and Physical Attractiveness,” European Journal of Personality 25, no. 2 (2011): 120–32.

172

Ibid., 125.

173

V. Coren, “The Curse of True Love,” Observer, October 14, 2006, http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2006/oct/15/comment.victoriacoren.

174

E. J. Finkel, P. W. Eastwick, B. R. Karney, H. T. Reis, and S. Sprecher, “Online Dating: A Critical Analysis from the Perspective of Psychological Science,” Psychological Science in the Public Interest 13, no. 1 (2012): 1–64.

175

J. Nicholson, “Why You Shouldn’t Believe in Soul Mates,” Psychology Today, July 9, 2012, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201207/why-you-shouldnt-believe-in-soul-mates.

176

C. E. Rusbult, M. Kumashiro, K. E. Kubacka, and E. J. Finkel, “ ‘The Part of Me That You Bring Out’: Ideal Similarity and the Michelangelo Phenomenon,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 96, no. 1 (2009): 61–82.

177

M. B. Holstein and M. Minkler, “Self, Society, and the ‘New Gerontology,’ ” Gerontologist 43, no. 6 (2003): 787–96.

178

W. J. Strawbridge, M. I. Wallhagen, and R. D. Cohen, “Successful Aging and Well-being: Self-Rated Compared with Rowe and Kahn,” Gerontologist 42, no. 6 (2002): 727–33.

179

M. L. Kern and H. S. Friedman, “Personality and Differences in Health and Longevity,” in The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Individual Differences, ed. T. Chamorro-Premuzic, A. Furnham, and S. von Stumm (Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell, 2011), 461–90.

180

M. F. Scheier and C. S. Carver, “Optimism, Coping, and Health: Assessment and Implications of Generalized Outcome Expectancies,” Health Psychology 4, no. 3 (1985): 219–47.

181

P. S. Fry and D. L. Debats, “Perfectionism and the Five-Factor Personality Traits as Predictors of Mortality in Older Adults,” Journal of Health Psychology 14, no. 4 (2009): 513–24.

182

S. C. Segerstrom, “Optimism and Immunity: Do Positive Thoughts Always Lead to Positive Effects?” Brain, Behavior, and Immunity 19, no. 3 (2005): 195–200.

183

Kern and Friedman, “Personality and Differences in Health and Longevity,” 474.

184

A. Harvey, E. Towner, M. Peden, H. Soori, and K. Bartolomeos, “Injury Prevention and the Attainment of Child and Adolescent Health,” Bulletin of the World Health Organization 87, no. 5 (2009): 390–94.9781594631269.

185

P. Fischer, T. Greitemeyer, A. Kastenmüller, C. Vogrincic, and A. Sauer, “The Effects of Risk-Glorifying Media Exposure on Risk-Positive Cognitions, Emotions, and Behaviors: A Meta-analytic Review,” Psychological Bulletin 137, no. 3 (2011): 367–90.

186

A. Mokdad, J. Marks, D. Stroup, and J. Gerberding, “Actual Causes of Death in the United States, 2000,” Journal of the American Medical Association 291, no. 10 (2004): 1238–45.

187

H. J. Eysenck, “Personality and Cigarette Smoking,” Life Sciences 3, no. 7 (1964): 777–92.

188

A. R. Helgason, M. Fredrikson, T. Dyba, and G. Steineck, “Introverts Give Up Smoking More Often Than Extroverts,” Personality and Individual Differences 18, no. 4 (1995): 559–60.

189

N. Emler, Self-esteem: the Costs and Causes of Low Self-worth (York, UK: Joseph Rowntree Foundation, 2001).

190

M. J. Sharp and J. G. Getz, “Substance Use as Impression Management,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 22, no. 1 (1996): 60–67.

191

N. D. Weinstein, “Unrealistic Optimism About Illness Susceptibility: Conclusions from a Community-Wide Sample,” Journal of Behavioral Medicine 10 (1987): 481–500.

192

H. S. Friedman and L. R. Martin, The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study (New York: Hudson Street Press, 2011), 9.

193

C. Paul, J. Fitzjohn, P. Herbison, and N. Dickson, “The Determinants of Sexual Intercourse Before Age 16 in a Birth Cohort,” Journal of Adolescent Health 27 (2000): 136–47.

194

G. E. Smith, M. Gerrard, and F. X. Gibbons, “Self-esteem and the Relation Between Risk Behavior and Perceived Vulnerability,” Health Psychology 16 (1997): 137–46.

195

J. M. Burger and L. Burns, “The Illusion of Unique Invulnerability and the Use of Effective Contraception,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 14, no. 2 (1988): 264–70.

196

M. Kleinjan, R. J. van den Eijnden, and R. C. Engels, “Adolescents’ Rationalizations to Continue Smoking: The Role of Disengagement Beliefs and Nicotine Dependence in Smoking Cessation,” Addictive Behaviors 34, no. 5 (2009): 440–45.

197

J. W. Brehm, “Postdecision Changes in the Desirability of Alternatives,” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 52, no. 3 (1956): 384–89.

198

H. Blanton, B. W. Pelham, T. DeHart, and M. Carvallo, “Overconfidence as Dissonance Reduction,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 37, no. 5 (2001): 373–85.

199

J. Jaccard, T. Dodge, and V. Guilamo-Ramos, “Metacognition, Risk Behavior, and Risk Outcomes: The Role of Perceived Intelligence and Perceived Knowledge,” Health Psychology 24, no. 2 (2005): 161–70.

200

Blanton et al., “Overconfidence as Dissonance Reduction,” 373.

201

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance,” 31.

202

S. G. Tallentyre, Voltaire in His Letters, Being a Selection from His Correspondence (New York and London: G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1919).

203

H. Tennen and G. Affleck, “The Puzzles of Self-esteem: A Clinical Perspective,” in Self-esteem: The Puzzle of Low Self-regard, ed. R. Baumeister (Hoboken, NJ: Wiley, 1993), 241–62.

204

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance?”

205

Y. Benyamini and O. Raz, “ ‘I Can Tell You If I’ll Really Lose All That Weight’: Dispositional and Situated Optimism as Predictors of Weight Loss Following a Group Intervention,” Journal of Applied Social Psychology 37, no. 4 (2007): 844–61.

206

M. Gerrard, F. X. Gibbons, M. Reis-Bergan, and D. W. Russell, “Self-esteem, Self-serving Cognitions, and Health Risk Behavior,” Journal of Personality 68, no. 6 (2000): 1177–1201.

207

Gerrard et al., “Self-esteem, Self-serving Cognitions.”

208

D. A. Raynor and H. Levine, “Associations Between the Five-Factor Model of Personality and Health Behaviors Among College Students,” Journal of American College Health 58, no. 1 (2009): 73–81.

209

R. Buehler, D. Griffin, and M. Ross, “Exploring the ‘Planning Fallacy’: Why People Underestimate Their Task Completion Times,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 67, no. 3 (1994): 366–81.

210

T. A. Wadden, S. N. Steen, B. J. Wingate, and G. D. Foster, “Psychosocial Consequences of Weight Reduction: How Much Weight Loss Is Enough?” American Journal of Clinical Nutrition 63, no. 3 (1996): 461S–465S.

211

R. Goldbeck, P. Myatt, and T. Aitchison, “End-of-Treatment Self-efficacy: A Predictor of Abstinence,” Addiction 92, no. 3 (1997): 313–24.

212

S. Allsop and B. Saunders, “Relapse and Alcohol Problems,” in Relapse and Addictive Behaviour, ed. M. Gossop (New York: Tavistock/Routledge, 1989), 11–40.

213

J. J. Arnett, “Optimistic Bias in Adolescent and Adult Smokers and Nonsmokers,” Addictive Behaviors 25, no. 4 (2000): 625–32.

214

S. Cohen, E. Lichtenstein, J. O. Prochaska, J. S. Rossi, E. R. Gritz, C. R. Carr, C. T. Orleans, et al., “Debunking Myths About Self-Quitting: Evidence from 10 Prospective Studies of Persons Who Attempted to Quit Smoking by Themselves,” American Psychologist 44, no. 11 (1989): 1355–65.

215

J. O. Prochaska, W. F. Velicer, E. Guadagnoli, J. S. Rossi, and C. C. DiClemente, “Patterns of Change: Dynamic Typology Applied to Smoking Cessation,” Multivariate Behavioral Research 26, no. 1 (1991): 83–107.

216

M. Muraven and R. F. Baumeister, “Self-regulation and Depletion of Limited Resources: Does Self-control Resemble a Muscle?” Psychological Bulletin 126, no. 2 (2000): 247–59.

217

J. O. Prochaska, C. C. DiClemente, and J. C. Norcross, “In Search of How People Change: Applications to Addictive Behaviors,” American Psychologist 47, no. 9 (1992): 1102–14; J. O. Prochaska and W. F. Velicer, “The Transtheoretical Model of Health Behavior Change,” American Journal of Health Promotion 12, no. 1 (1997): 38–48.

218

K. D. Brownell, “Personal Responsibility and Control over Our Bodies: When Expectation Exceeds Reality,” Health Psychology 10, no. 5 (1991): 303–10.

219

K. Trottier, J. Polivy, and C. P. Herman, “Effects of Expectations About Outcomes on Self-Change Resolutions” (готовится к печати).

220

J. Polivy and C. P. Herman, “The Effects of Resolving to Diet on Restrained and Unrestrained Eaters: The ‘False Hope Syndrome’,” International Journal of Eating Disorders 26, no. 4 (1999): 434–47.

221

J. Polivy and C. P. Herman, “If at First You Don’t Succeed: False Hopes of Self-Change,” American Psychologist 57, no. 9 (2002): 677–89.

222

Хотя депрессия в своей первоначальной роли может помочь справиться с негативными событиями, одним из ее отрицательных результатов является тенденция уйти от реальности, чтобы избежать новых ударов судьбы. Точно так же Фрейд проводил различие между нормальной и патологической реакцией на утрату. В скорби (нормальная реакция) мы на время отворачиваемся от реальности, поскольку нам слишком больно видеть, что любимый человек больше не с нами; в меланхолии (термин Фрейда для депрессии) мы слишком надолго отгораживаемся от реальности, потому что хотим избежать дальнейших ударов.

223

Polivy and Herman, “If at First You Don’t Succeed,” 686.

224

S. V. Zagona and L. A. Zurcher Jr., “An Analysis of Some Psychosocial Variables Associated with Smoking Behavior in a College Sample,” Psychological Reports 17, no. 3 (1965): 967–78.

225

S. Schachter, “Recidivism and Self-Cure of Smoking and Obesity,” American Psychologist 37, no. 4 (1982): 436–44.

226

F. Gino, A. W. Brooks, and M. E. Schweitzer, “Anxiety, Advice, and the Ability to Discern: Feeling Anxious Motivates Individuals to Seek and Use Advice,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 102, no. 3 (2012): 497–512.

227

R. M. Pinkhasov, J. Wong, J. Kashanian, M. Lee, D. B. Samadi, M. M. Pinkhasov, and R. Shabsigh, “Are Men Shortchanged on Health? Perspective on Health Care Utilization and Health Risk Behavior in Men and Women in the United States,” International Journal of Clinical Practice 64, no. 4 (2010): 475–87.

228

Выводы авторов достаточно четко охватывают картину в целом: мужчины, как правило, пьют чаще, чем женщины. Прием алкоголя может приводить к широкому спектру серьезных хронических заболеваний, а также к автокатастрофам, пожарам, травмам, включая полученные по собственной неосторожности.

229

“The Biggest Loser,” NBCUniversal, http://www.biggestloser.com/UKedition .

230

Цитата из личной переписки (июль 2012 г.).

231

L. Gauvin and J. C. Spence, “Physical Activity and Psychological Well-being: Knowledge Base, Current Issues, and Caveats,” Nutrition Reviews 54, no. 4 (1996): S53–65.

232

C. B. Taylor, J. F. Sallis, and R. Needle, “The Relation of Physical Activity and Exercise to Mental Health,” Public Health Reports 100, no. 2 (1985): 195–202.

233

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance?”

234

Baumeister et al., “Does High Self-esteem Cause Better Performance,” 1.

235

T. B. Kashdan, V. Barrios, J. P. Forsyth, and M. F. Steger, “Experiential Avoidance as a Generalized Psychological Vulnerability: Comparisons with Coping and Emotion Regulation Strategies,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 44, no. 9 (2006): 1301–20.

236

W. C. Thompson, G. T. Fong, and D. L. Rosenhan, “Inadmissible Evidence and Juror Verdicts,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 40, no. 3 (1981): 453–63.

237

D. M. Wegner, R. Wenzlaff, R. M. Kerker, and A. E. Beattie, “Incrimination Through Innuendo: Can Media Questions Become Public Answers?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 40, no. 5 (1981): 822–32.

238

A. Tversky and D. Kahneman, “Judgment Under Uncertainty: Heuristics and Biases,” Science 185, no. 4157 (1974): 1124–31.

239

J. Polivy and C. P. Herman, “Dieting and Binging: A Causal Analysis,” American Psychologist 40, no. 2 (1985): 193–201.

240

I. L. Janis, “Preventing Pathogenic Denial by Means of Stress Inoculation,” in The Denial of Stress, ed. S. Breznitz (New York: International Universities Press, 1983), 35–76.

241

J. W. Pennebaker, “Inhibition and Cognition: Toward an Understanding of Trauma and Disease,” Canadian Psychology 26 (1985): 82–95.

242

J. J. Gross and O. P. John, “Individual Differences in Two Emotion Regulation Processes: Implications for Affect, Relationships, and Well-being,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 85, no. 2 (2003): 348–62.

243

R. F. Baumeister and T. F. Heatherton, “Self-regulation Failure: An Overview,” Psychological Inquiry 7 (1996): 1–15.

244

C. N. Macrae, G. V. Bodenhausen, A. B. Milne, and J. Jetten, “Out of Mind but Back in Sight: Stereotypes on the Rebound,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 67, no. 5 (1994): 808–17.

245

Спросите у себя: «Если бы я мог изменить либо свою уверенность, либо компетентность, что бы я выбрал?» Людей беспокоит собственная уверенность, потому что они считают, что она отражается на их компетентности (например, «У меня социальная тревожность, и это не дает мне общаться с людьми», «Я никогда не научусь плавать, потому что не чувствую себя достаточно уверенным, чтобы зайти в воду»), так что на самом деле им нужно поднять уверенность для того, чтобы улучшить свои результаты.

246

P. Arden, Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite (New York: Portfolio Trade, 2006), 22.

247

C. Anderson, S. Brion, D. A. Moore, and J. A. Kennedy, “A Status-Enhancement Account of Overconfidence,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 103, no. 4 (2012): 718–35.

248

D. D. P. Johnson, Overconfidence and War: The Havoc and Glory of Positive Illusions (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2004).

249

Данные относятся главным образом к 2011 году. “World Economic and Financial Surveys: World Economic Outlook Database, April 2012,” International Monetary Fund, http://www.imf.org/external/pubs/ft/weo/2012/01/weodata/index.aspx.

250

D. Winsborough, R. B. Kaiser, and R. Hogan, “An Evolutionary View: What Followers Want from Their Leaders,” Leadership in Action 29, no. 3 (2009): 8–11.

251

G. Acs, Downward Mobility from the Middle Class: Waking Up from the American Dream (Pew Charitable Trusts, 2011), http://www.pewtrusts.org/our_work_report_detail.aspx?id=85899363697.