Послания любви. 365 писем Ошо - [27]

It is impartial and innocent

and it never projects anything.

It only faithfully shows your real, original face,

the face we never show to the world,

the face that we ourselves have forgotten.

So it is possible

that you yourself

may not be able to recognize it the first time!

But do not escape from it.

Face it and you will come to know it and recognize it.

This confrontation is the first test of courage

on the inner way.

So when it comes about –

rejoice and feel blessed.

181. Love.

Yes, there is tension.

To be consciously conscious is to be tense,

but it is not because of consciousness

but because of partial consciousness.

The unconscious is always

behind the so-called consciousness.

This situation creates tension

because this creates a dichotomy, a duality;

hence the tension.

The being, which cannot be divided,

is divided,

hence the tension.

The unnaturalness of the situation

is the root cause of this tension,

and for that matter of all tensions,

because then one is not individual,

that is, indivisible;

therefore there is tension,

and one cannot really relax unless one is one.

Either be totally unconscious as in deep and

dreamless sleep –

and then there is no tension,

or be totally conscious –

and then you are in the state of no-tension

because the total can never be tense.

That is why the whole is the holy.

But falling into a deep sleep-like trance

is just escaping the problem,

and that too only for the time being,

because you will be back soon –

and worse off,

because by such escapes

the gap between

the conscious and the unconscious

is not bridged

but, on the contrary, widened even more.

One becomes split and schizophrenic.

So always be aware of the mind

because it tries to find solace in unconscious states

in so many ways –

through chemical drugs,

through auto-hypnotic means, and otherwise.

Begin to be aware of anything

which ordinarily happens unconsciously,

for example – anger, jealousy, pride –

and your consciousness will be deepened.

Act consciously,

even in day-to-day acts be conscious,

for example walking, eating, talking,

and your consciousness will be expanded.

Be alert when thinking.

No thought should be allowed to pass unwitnessed.

And then, in the end, there is an explosion

in which you become totally conscious,

with no unconsciousness behind.

When this happens one is one,

and to be one is to be silent.

This silence is beyond time and space,

because it is beyond duality.

182. Love.

God is when you are not.

When you are it is not

because you are nothing but a blindness.

The ego cannot see,

the ego cannot be aware,

the ego exists only as a by-product of unconscious living.

One goes on living as if in sleep.

In this sleep the part begins to dream that it is the whole,

and this dreaming becomes a barrier to knowing the whole.

Begin to be aware,

aware of your actions, thoughts and emotions,

just aware.

Because if you condemn or appreciate

you will not be aware –

in any choice the awareness is contaminated

and the darkness of unawareness comes in.

So just be aware without any choice;

then awareness is pure and innocent,

and then awareness is a mirror.

In this mirror-like awareness one never finds oneself

but one finds that-which-is.

And that is God.

But it is only when you are not

because you are the dust which makes the mirror blind.

Because you are the blindness.

183. Love.

There are three forms of knowledge.

The first is intellectual knowledge,

which is in fact not knowledge but only information

and the collection of facts and the use of these

to arrive at further intellectual concepts.

The second is emotional knowledge,

which is also not really knowledge

but the mental state in which man feels

he has known something,

but there is no transformation or mutation of his being.

The first is objective, and out of it science is born,

and the second is subjective, and is the source of all art.

The third is neither,

it is beyond both,

and this third is the real.

It is achieved through meditation

because meditation does not use thinking and feeling

as doors of perception.

Really, these are not doors of perception

but forces of projection.

Through them pure knowing is impossible;

whatsoever comes through them is changed and colored by them.

So unless one is free of all projections

one cannot know that-which-is.

When there are no ripples of thought and emotion

in the consciousness, then and only then

does the third form of knowledge dawn,

and this third is the only real knowledge.

Out of it religion is born,

and out of it is total transformation.

184. Love.

The journey is long

and the path is pathless.

And one has to be alone –

there is no map and no guide.

But there is no alternative.

One cannot escape it,

one cannot evade it.

One has to go on the journey.

The goal seems impossible

but the urge to go on it is intrinsic.

The need is deep in the soul.

Really, you are the urge, you are the need –

and consciousness cannot be otherwise

because of this challenge

and because of this adventure.

So do not waste time – begin.

Do not calculate – begin.

Do not hesitate – begin.

Do not look back – begin.

And always remember old Lao Tzu’s words:

A tree that takes both arms to be encircled